Weekend Wrap Up

(Yeah the pic has nothing to do with sports, but for some reason I find it hilarious that George Lucas is banging a black chick. Insert lightsaber joke here____)

Waldini:

1. Football - Both my Tenn teams won so I'm happy this week. Granted one struggled to beat a patsy and the other got lucky in an upset, it still registers as a W. Plus ND continues to lose, a lot of so called cupcakes are winning at the big boys' home (I see you S. Fla) and we have the makings of a crazy college football season. Suicide watch is officially on in Ann Arbor

2. Tennis - Venus went down, but not without a fight. She played beautifully on occasion, then made some mental errors that boggled the mine. And of course TMF just inched 2 steps closer to immortality. I'm hoping he ties Pretty Pete with his first French Open title in '08

3. Basketball - Zen Master gets inducted over the wknd and takes time to publicly clown his employer. Anybody who can sleep with his boss' daughter AND clown him in public w/o getting fired, gets my vote for pimp of the year. Hate hate hate

4. Soccer - I know you trics dont care but so what?? Freddy Adu shuns MLS to play overseas but finds time to lead the US Under 17 squad in world cup play. He's a beast and he just needs a hug to feel loved in the states

Just my thoughts, just my thoughts

Gangsta D:

Obviously, I was just slightly off in my Miami-OU prediction. Needless to say, I was humbled. We just couldn't tackle, couldn't pressure the QB, and looked like we were running in quicksand. But I LOVED the fake FG. Coker wouldn't have the balls to do that down 21-3 on the road. We'll be all right...if Kyle starts. When he came in the game, a calm came over me. He wasn't spetacular, but he moved the team. He looked comfortable in the pocket, and made good decisions. He HAS to start the rest of the year. He gives us the best chance.

The Cowboys offense is ridiculous. The Cowboy defense is also ridiculous, but for different reasons. TO, Romo, and Witten are gonna have BEASTLY years if they continue to pick up the defense's slack.

Too bad Justine Henin isn't cute. Maybe she would take away some of Sharapova's money. Since, you know, she's 10 times the player.

Da Realist:

Tennis -- "Venus went down, but not without a fight"

she still lost in straight sets. i think we all need to recognize justine henin. the girl has 7 titles (one more than venus, one less than serena). she beat serena 3 straight times in 3 different majors -- all played on different surfaces. wimbledon and the us open are her two weaker surfaces, yet she still managed to beat both williams sisters (serena more than once). she won both the french and the us open without dropping a set. she is undisputedly the best women's player right now. it's no longer about venus playing hard or serena playing hurt. justine just kicked their asses, no excuses.

oh, and federer? 10 straight grand slam finals appearances, 3 straight years where he won 3 slams. the most complete player the game has ever seen. EVER.

Football -- we're horrible this year. we'll be lucky to win 6. in fact, if we win 6 games with our schedule i'll dance naked on my balcony. nothing else matters to me right now.

Basketball -- YAWN

Soccer -- ZZZZZZ Read more!

Who Ya Got?!?

The U vs OK

Gangsta D:

A week ago I said to myself, "We could beat Oklahoma." Around Tuesday I was saying, "If we win, it'll be close." Now I'm saying, "We'll win by two TDs." I just have this feeling that we're gonna blow into Norman and put a critical beatdown on the Sooners. Why? Well, what has Oklahoma done to be considered so good? Preseason ranking don't mean anything. They have a REDSHIRT FRESHMAN starting at QB. Mr. Bradford, please meet the best D-line you'll see all season. Whenever Oklahoma is faced with equal or better speed, they fold. The Canes have speed. Boy do they have speed. Plus I feel the offense will be much more dynamic. More 3-WR sets. Graig Cooper motioning into the slot. Coop and Baby J in the backfield at the same time. And a TON of play action. I'm getting a Virginia Tech 2005 feeling for this one. Canes by two TDs.

Da Realist:

Missed most of last week's games so I don't have much of anything to go on. this is what happens when one travels during football season. i haven't seen ANY OF THESE TEAMS play yet. well i did see LSU.

Miami has speed but are their playmakers ready? this is just the 2nd game of the season and they're going to norman? it would help if i had seen a little of both of these teams, but alas... i'll go with the home team. OKLAHOMA

Waldini:

I didnt see OU but I have seen Miami. Their defense is legit but that offense worries me. Sorry Gangsta, I'm going with OU in a nailbiteer


VT vs LSU

Gangsta D:

I didn't see much of the VT game last week, but what I saw of their offense wasn't encouraging. They probably should've lost that game. Maybe they were flat emotionally. Maybe, like most VT teams, they're just not as good as everyone thinks they are. LSU didn't exactly look like world beaters either. I'm still not sold on Matt Flynn or that offense. The defense looks pretty stout. Sean Glennon and Glen Dorsey will probably be doing the tango all game. If both defenses are about even, then LSU has the edge on offense. Plus it's a night game at LSU. The Hokies don't really have a chance.

Da Realist:

i will never predict a virginia tech victory in a big game again until they prove themselves. LSU

Waldini:

Ditto Realist's comments. LSU


Mich vs Oregon

Gangsta D:

I saw the Mich-App St game last week and was going apeshit throughout the contest. I actually like Michigan, but it was something about a 1-AA team beating them AT the Big House that got me giddy. So how do the Wolverines respond to adversity? Well since Lloyd Carr is the coach, I'm gonna say not very well. Traveling cross country is never a great thing. But traveling cross country, to play in Autzen Stadium, a week after you've been humiliated, may be too much to overcome. I don't know much about Oregon's team this year, but they usually have speed on the outside. And that's what killed Michigan last week. I don't think they recover, and start the season 0-2. Goodbye Lloyd. We hardly knew ye.

Da Realist:

I can't see Michigan coming out 0-2. I can't see them losing 2 straight games at the big house. MICHIGAN

Waldini:

Gimme Michigan.


PSU vs ND

Gangsta D:

Ahh, this is the game I've been waiting three years for. All you need to know about this game is that Jimmy "Emu" Clausen is getting the start...at Happy Valley. I'm not sure if he knows what playing in front of 100,000 people is like. He's gonna find out real quickly. There is no way this game doesn't end in a blowout. Notre Dame could do NOTHING against Tech last week. The defense looked good in spots, but still gave up over 200 yards on the ground. Think JoePa is gonna air it out after that display last week? I doubt it. Lord Weis thought it a good idea that his true freshman QB's first start should be on the road in front of 100,000 people. So I don't expect the offense to do much again this week. It's gonna get ugly and fast. My only regret is that I will probably miss the quarter. I really want to see Clausen's first INT live.

Da Realist:

Penn State will put a hurting on Notre Dame.

Waldini:

Puhlease, Happy Valley is going to remain happy. PSU


Boise St. vs UW

Gangsta D:

Umm...coin flip...and...I'll go with the black coach.

Da Realist:

Watching D flip his coin....i'll take the opposite. BOISE STATE

Waldini:

I just saw the Boise St video on their perfect season, I'm taking Boise. BSU

Read more!

Old School Friday - Ladies' Night

All right folks, it's time to give the ladies some run here on Old School Friday. That's right, this week it's all females and no dudes. Or, what I like to call Saturdays at my house. I kid. So, sit back and enjoy the show.

MC Lyte - Cha Cha Cha

"I'll blind you with the science that the others have yet to find." I think this is Lyte's hardest song. That bassline is just hypnotic. I got dibs on it SML, so hands off pimpin':) But seriously, this was the jam back in 8th grade. I definitely found a whole new level of respect for the L-Y-T-E.




Bahamadia - Uknowhowwedu

I always had a soft spot for this song. I wasn't the biggest Bahamadia fan, but I was definitely feeling this one. It's just got that quintessential mid-90's east coast groove. Being from Philly, definitely didn't hurt. Too bad she didn't find mainstream success. I wonder what she's up to now.




Sheila E. - Glamorous Life

Phil Collins and Dave Grohl are pussies. Sheila was the true drummer rocking it back in the day. Plus she's way cuter. Kind of off topic, but did EVERY dude rock a flock-of-seagulls in the 80's? I didn't realize they were that prevalent.

Adina Howard - Freak Like Me

Ahh jeah! Adina wasn't the cutest chick, but the slut freak factor definitely bumped her up in the standings. The first time I heard this song, I figured it would probably be a hit. When I saw the video, I knew there was no doubt. Now I'm not the biggest fan of bright red lipstick, but Adina pulls it off. Must be the slut freak factor at work again.




SWV - Right Here (Human Nature Mix)

I ran into a dilemma. Do I post this video or do I post a video from their second album, when they *ahem* got miraculously cuter? I decided to go for substance over style. Yeah, I'm mad deep. Anyway, the true star of this song is the MJ sample. Why don't more people sample Mike? He's innocent people!




Lauryn Hill - Ex-Factor

"Lauryn Hill said her heart was in Zion. I wish her heart still was in rhymin'." True dat Kanye. True dat. I don't know what's happened to Ms. Hill, but she's been on that shit as of late. Rohan Marley must've passed her the stickiest of the icky, cause she is gone. But enough of that. I'd rather focus on the good times, like this song. It's just so soulful. If you can't feel it in your heart, that means you don't have one.




Nina Simone - Ain't Got No...I've Got Life

If you don't know who Nina Simone is, then you need to read up on her. For those in the know, just sit back and watch a master at work. This groove is so perfect. I can't think of a better way to start the weekend.

Read more!

Stormin' Towards Norman

This Saturday Miami travels to Norman, Oklahoma to take on the Sooners. It's the first trip to Norman in 22 years for the Canes, and just like back then they are heavy underdogs. But back in '85, a funny thing happened. Oklahoma went down, and they went down hard. That was the first game of a three game series that took place from '85-'87, a series that Miami swept. In fact, Miami was the only team to beat Oklahoma during that time period, keeping the Sooners from winning two Nat'l Titles. You gotta love that. If you're a Cane fan you're gonna love this retrospective.



A couple of observations:

1. Vinny Testaverde was the motherfucking man. This dude's arm was unreal. Standing flat footed, he threw a 40 yard dart to Irvin with no effort. That was just ugly. BUT, therein lies the rub. His physical talents were so far and above his competition that he didn't work on the little things, like footwork. Like so many QBs, he thought he could win every game with his arm. He found that to be a fallacy rather quickly once he got with the Bucs.

2. Once upon a time, Vinny could move! Yeah I know, it shocked the Hell out of me too. Somewhere along the way, his bones morphed into concrete, but back in '86 he was the Italian Mike Vick. OK, maybe not.

3. Miami's defense looked fast even by today's standards. Sometimes you'll look at game footage from 15-20 years ago and say, "No way could they play today. Not enough speed." I don't know that you could say that about the defense. The offense looks comparatively slow, but not the defense. They defined the term beastly. Read more!

Weekend Reflections Suck

Da Realist:

Wasn't a good weekend for us, huh, (Waldini)? How does a team like fsu fall so far behind? Forget the country, forget the ACC, we didn't even have the best athletes on the field against CLEMSON. We're at least a few years away. years.

Now i can just be in hater mode until then.

Waldini:

yea it absolutely stunk. My sat was going great (Mich lost, ND lost) until the Cal game. I was screaming Dont punt to DeSean Jackson, these jabronis did, and he does a video game punt return for a TD. The run defense killed my boys last year and it doesnt appear that is fixed. Plus they have no faith in the receivers as deep threats b/c they didnt try the long ball ONCE during the game

Annoying to say the least. But at least I got to watch Holtz eat some crow on Gameday review

Gangsta D:

What do you mean "now?" lol

FSU's O-line was just brutal in the first half. They couldn't protect or run block. The defense just wasn't playing up to expectations. I can't believe that FSU couldn't handle Clemson's speed. That doesn't even seem right, typing it. At least they showed some life near the end. But they better tighten it up quick. The schedule is brutal.

Waldini:

actually all 3 of our teams have brutal schedules this year

Da Realist:

when i walked into my aunt's house and saw the score my jaw dropped to the floor. CLEMSON??? that nullified the michigan game, the notre dame game, the tennessee game...everything. all those upsets don't mean nothing if my boys lose.

and i know my picks were brutal over weekend. fitting. Read more!

Suck On These Waffles, Bitch!

Da Realist:

She (Justine Henin) beat Serena at the French, Wimbledon AND the us open. Can one now say that she is the better player at the moment?

Gangsta D:

Ever since she dropped that loser Hardenne, she's been on a tear:)

Waldini:

She is the better player. She whupped, girlhandled, took her soul yada yada yada :-). I was watching it with the missus and when Henin was up 2-1 in the first set, I said it's over. Wifey said "Stop being a hater!" I said "Those girls need to stop making clothes and start practicing more"

Da Realist:

I'm just a little surprised. Although the differences in the surface isn't as profound in the women's game as it is in the men's game, it's still significant. I think serena should have the advantage at wimbledon and the US open, while Justine should have the advantage at the Australian and the French. I'm surprised Justine beat her at the W and at the Open. 3 straight times in 3 different majors, all on different surfaces.

Serena's used to overpowering and intimidating the other girls. Justine forces her to play a good tennis match to beat her. when she can't overpower the opponent, Serena can sometimes get frustrated (like the second set last night).

I think justine will beat Venus. venus is more powerful and is all wingspan and legs, but she can be wrong-footed. it should be a good match if Venus wins tonight.

Waldini:

I'm not really that surprised. Henin adjusted her game to handle Serena's strengths and force Serena to play off her game. I was joking about the clothes earlier, Serena did not look all that bad. She just couldnt adjust her game to figure out Henin's weaknesses (which last night looked like none) and expose her.

Venus was able to do that earlier at Wimbledown this year and the US Open is a favorite court of Venus. We'll see if Venus can seek some revenge on behalf of the Williams' family. Read more!

The Most Crunkenest

For the longest time, Sebastian The Ibis has been the dopest, most crunk, thugged out mascot in NCAA history. What other mascot has received an unsportsmanlike penalty for excessive celebration? What other mascot has torn it's ACL while celebrating a victory? What other mascot is cranking dat Souljah Boy? Sebastian, that's who! Now, I'm not the biggest Souljah Boy fan but I do get a kick out of the "Yuahhhh," or better yet the "U."



If you've never heard of Souljah Boy and don't know how to "Superman That Ho," then check this out.



(Hat tip:Woodybanger@Canespace) Read more!

Old School Friday - To The Westside

That's right, we're all about the west coast this week. I had to show some love to my brethren on the left coast. BUT, there is no gangsta rap this week. I have nothing against it, but just wanted to give a little different flava. Enjoy and be safe this weekend.

Suga Free - If U Stay Ready

To paraphrase Katt Williams, if you don't know who Suga Free is, I really don't know what the fuck you are doing with your life. Anyone who knows me, knows that I worship at the altar of Free. Forgive the hyperbole, but he might be the most underrated west coast cat of all time. His first two albums are so pure, I will not ever let ANYONE borrow them. EVER. Even when Jesus comes back, he's gonna have to get his copy from somewhere else.



Digital Underground - Doowatchulike

"Now if ya hungry, get yourself something to eat. And if ya dirty, then go take a bath. Messed up the line? Nope, sometimes I don't rhyme." Love this song and video. I always wanted to go to a party like this one. Waldini and my 21st birthday party came close, but there was no pool. I'm still holding out hope though.



Souls Of Mischief - '93 Til Infinity

This one is going out to my boy G-Nice, who's the biggest Heiro fan IN THE World. Seriously. Dude's bathroom towels had the Heiro insignia on them. He's married now, so hopefully the missus put the kibosh on that. Anyway, this song was the shit. Just a laid back groove with fresh lyrics. If I smoked, I would definitely smoke out to this.



Tha Alkaholiks - Make Room

"But chicks love them light-skinned rap niggas called the liks." Unfortunately, not enough, cause these cats are UNDERRATED! They weren't on that gangsta shit so most people slept on them. Too bad. The could for damn sure spit.



The Luniz - I Got 5 On it

"Everytime I'm with Chris that fool rolling up a fatty, but the Tanquerey straight had me." That dude, I guess he's Chris, ALWAYS trips me out. He looks blowed as Hell. But I think everybody involved with this video was chiefing at one point during the shoot. You know Numb and Yuck were. You gotta be perpetually high to put a Maggie Simpson reference in a song about smoking weed.



MC Hammer - Pump It Up

Kiss my ass. This song is dope. Before Stanley Burrell became "Hammer" he was MC Hammer, and dropped jewels like this. You can hate all you want, but I bet your ass will be dancing at your desk in about 30 seconds.



Montell Jordan - Something For Da Honeyz

Lark Voorhies. Damn I'm gonna need a minute.

All right, I'm back. I always liked this better than "This Is How We Do It." It's just got that laid back groove you can't front. Even though Montell was never the most gifted singer, he definitely passes muster on this effort. Now, you guys watch the video. I'm gonna go back to thinking about Lark.

Read more!

Hatred Redux

In honor of the return of college football, I though I'd repost a piece I wrote while pinch hitting for The Big Lead in April. It's a testament to my hatred of Notre Dame. For some reason, I got supremely hated on for a post that wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I thought Notre Dame fans would have a sense of humor. I was just a tad wrong. Anyway, here's the post in all it's vitriolic glory.


I hate Notre Dame.

I hate Brady Quinn and his wanna be a pinup body.

I hate his campaigning for the #1 pick, like going 0-3 in bowls and shitting your pants when faced by a real pass rush qualifies you for a guaranteed $25 million.

I hate Charlie Weis because HE’S FUCKING CHARLIE WEIS.

I hate Jimmy “Jehova” Clausen and his ridiculous stick-your-finger-in-a-socket haircut.

I hate that he will bang more chicks this fall semester than I have in the past 3 years.

I hate that Notre Dame had a black mascot. When the fuck have you ever seen a black leprechaun?

I hate that Lou Holtz went apeshit on a kid during the spring football game.

I hate that Lou Holtz gets paid to talk.

I hate the phrase “Wake up the echoes.” How the fuck do you awaken an echo?

I hate that they’ve lost six games the past two years, but everyone considers Tweedledum to be a genius because they didn’t lose eight.

I hate that I hate Notre Dame so much.

I hate that I wrote that last sentence, because it’s not true and I was only trying to come off less asshole-ish.

OK, I feel better. I just have to release some ND hate every now and then. Nothing personal.
Read more!

Make Your Damn Picks!

LSU vs Miss St

Gangsta D:

Oh Sylvester. I pull for Sylvester. I want him to do well, but it's just not looking too good. They just can't get it done. Maybe part of the problem is recruiting. They couldn't even sign the 100m state champion. He'll be playing at the Orange Bowl this Saturday. I pray Sly gets 6 wins this year, but it's probably gonna be a wrap. LSU has been tabbed as a possible nat'l champion. Did I miss something or are they breaking in a new QB this year? As far as I'm concerned, they have as many questions at that position as UF. Matt Flynn torched The U two years ago, but he's largely unproven. The Bayou Bengals roll in this one, but I'm not sold on their nat'l title aspirations just yet.

Waldini:

This is prolly the easiest pick on the list. LSU in a laffer. Flynn may be relatively new (been a min since he's started a game) but that defense is loaded. I am hoping for the day Croom finally fields a decent team like Jackie Sherril used to. But for now, he better start fending off those smart alums who think they can do a better job than him.

Da Realist:

"they couldn't even sign the 100m state champion. he'll be playing at the orange bowl this saturday". well, there goes your objective analysis.

no way in hell i'm picking MSU under any circumstances. i like croom. why the hell is he on the hot seat? what do they EXPECT out of the bulldogs? LSU may cough up a game or two, but not against this team. LSU


Wake Forest vs Boston College

Gangsta D:

Don't know much about either of these teams. But one of WF's safeties went to my high school, so I guess I'll go with the Deacons.

Waldini:

Shame on you Gangsta for not pointing out BC's QB is the preseason ACC player of the year (I kid you not). I didnt even know that until I read Mandel's mailbag last night. WF was a BCS team last year and BC kept losing close games. I guess I'll go with BC b/c of the QB status but not sure that means anything. BC in a squeaker

Da Realist:

(flipping the coin) WAKE FOREST


Okie St vs UGA

Gangsta D:

This is gonna be a TOUGH game. The Dawgs have the Kegmaster at QB and a three-headed monster at RB. But the WRs couldn't catch the clap last year, the O-line is young, and the starting TE is suspended. Not to mention that the defense lost a TON off of last year's team. The Cowboys have Adarius Bowman at WR who is apparently the truth, and no one in GA's secondary can cover him. I'm gonna go with the Dawgs because I think Richt will pound the ball and keep things simple with Stafford. Plus Richt is undefeated at home against non-conference opponents. But it ain't gonna be easy.

Waldini:

It's time for Stafford to show the country how smart Richt is. Granted he was a freshman last year but so many freshmen QBs have come into the SEC and had decent to great first years (see Manning, Leak, Greene). I dont know anything about Oklahoma St this except their history is usually they are 2nd tier when it comes to the big boys. Since GA is at home, I'm picking them.

Da Realist:

i'm going with okie state. this is their bowl game. this is their proving ground. they've been thinking about this game all summer long. going between the hedges and beating a top sec team would give them instant credibility in the national picture. i'm not sure georgia's ready for some of the same reasons D mentioned earlier. it's the first game and it may take some time for georgia to gel but okie state will be ready. OKLAHOMA STATE


GT vs Notre Dame

Gangsta D:

Lord Wies has been non-comittal on who his starting QB is gonna be. But it might not matter, cause John Tenuta is gonna blitz the ever living sh*t out of whoever's back there. I think Kyle Wright still has nightmares from the '05 game. Notre Dame has lost a ton of offensive talent, and they didn't exactly light the jackets up last year on offense. Nevertheless, GT is breaking in a new QB themselves. But I expect Tashard Choice to get heavy work. I'm gonna have to go with Tech, just because Notre Dame has WAY too many parts to replace. And I hate Notre Dame.

Waldini:

Drunk driving? QB starter not named? Loss of majority offensive players? But according to some, Weis is a genius and should be able to wield the magic stick, thus turning this pumpkin team into a cinderfella. Bulls***. I'm in early season hate mode after hearing Lou Holtz say the Irish will win 10 games this year. Are you kidding me? Yellow Jackets STING Irishmen..bbbzzzzzzzzzz

Da Realist:

notre dame lost too much experience on the offensive side of the ball to handle the blitzes that gt will throw at them. no way they can handle it all game long. AND they're breaking in a new qb? GEORGIA TECH


UT vs Cal

Gangsta D:

My head says go with Cal. Ainge is a little dinged up. No LaMarcus Coker. No proven WRs. Cross country trip. Everything is pointing toward a Cal victory...except that Cal always screws the pooch when the pressure's on. I guess I'm going with Smokey.

Waldini:

Two words. Vols win. Next.....

Da Realist:

believe this. cal is going to be ready. they sat on last year's blowout loss ALL YEAR. mark it down, fellas. i'm coming out swinging this week because i'm picking AGAINST two sec teams. CALIFORNIA


FSU vs Clemson

Gangsta D:

Hmmm. Don't know about this one. Mr. Davis and Mr. Spiller are deadly, but FSU will be ready on defense. Will Drew and the retooled Seminole offense be ready? Will Jimbo let loose the hounds or play it close to the vest? Unleashing a new system in Death Valley? I don't know. This is gonna be tough. I'm going with the Tigers in a squeaker.

Waldini:

Who decided to do the Bowden bowl this early? And which Clemson team will show up? the one with two dope running backs that crushed G'Tech (shut down Calvin Johnson) last year. Or the one that look pathetic in their last 5 games. Something tells me Jimbo will turn the clock back on the Noles offense and get Weatherford and crew rolling. Break out that Indian signs, Noles win

Da Realist:

fsu will be ready. i have to believe that. no need for analysis here because there is no way i'm picking clemson. i'm riding with the noles. FSU


Marshall vs The U

Gangsta D:

So begins the Kirby Era. We have serious speed on the outside this year. Our return game should be back to prominence. Our run game should be ridiculous. Our defense should be dominant, although I'm a little worried about our DTs and LBs. But none of that matters, because it's all about Mr. Freeman. He CANNOT turn the ball over. He doesn't have to be special, just efficient. He still scares me. I won't be comfortable until October. If we finish September 3-1 or 4-0, then my fear will subside. Obviously I'm going with the Canes.

Waldini:

So what if Miami isnt ranked? they are going to issue an alumni smackdown on Marshall. Canes

Da Realist:

are you serious? let's see what happens when you go to norman next week. MIAMI


ooops. this just in

Tennessee quarterback Erik Ainge has a broken pinkie on his throwing hand, but is expected to play Saturday at No. 12 California.

Waldini:

Yea it was reported on Tues. Not too worried about it, even with it being his throwing hand.

Read more!

Throwin' Up The U

Da Realist:

Freeman over "golden boy" wright? Isn't that an upset at the U? interesting...

Kirby Freeman is set to be the starting quarterback for Miami's season opener Tuesday, beating former first-stringer Kyle Wright in the Hurricanes' most-scrutinized training camp competition.

Waldini:

Wow, I'm wondering if a certain U man we know is chewing hard on his hat, wondering aloud WTF???

Da Realist:

He probably likes it. It says UM is not following the usual protocol. The quarterback position was truly open during camp. Most schools just say that to motivate the current starter. I wonder if fsu did just that.

Gangsta D:

Kirby frightens me. He could throw for 3 TDs or throw 3 INTs returned for TDs. He's basically Chris Rix. You don't know how hard it was for me to write that. I had hoped that Kyle would come in and dominate, but that wasn't the case. Unless Kirby gets hurt or proves inneffective, the Kyle Wright Era is officially a MAJOR bust.

What some don't realize is that Kyle originally comitted to USC. If he did, we probably would've signed John David Booty. While he may not be Carson or Leinert, John acquitted himself very well last year. Larry Coker's biggest recruiting coup ended up fucking us in the end. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

Waldini:

Didnt know that about Booty? Isnt he Josh booty's (of LSU fame) brother?

Gangsta D:

That he is.

Class of 2002 QBs:

Kyle Wright
Chris Leak
JaMarcus Russell
John David Booty

Are you shitting me?!? How did we get the short end of that stick? Why does God hate the 'Canes?

Waldini:

But honestly how would you know Wright would not live up to expectations. Look at Ryan Perriloux for LSU. He was considered a stud coming into LSU but he cant even beat out Matt Flynn. Or Rhett Bomar at OU, Jevan Snead at Texas. Shoot that Sanchez kid at USC may be joining that list if he doesnt start next year

Gangsta D:

It's a crap shoot. You never know. Nobody wanted Ken Dorsey coming out of high school. And he only finished 39-2 with a nat'l title. I just hope Kirby cuts down on the INTs. If he continues to throw pick sixes, I will give new definition to "going ape-shit."

Waldini:

Exactly. Shoot McGahee was 3rd string behind Portis and Gore, lol Read more!

You Wanna Tussle?

I got a friend who knows someone that works for the NSA, and he hipped me to a conversation that was recorded during what I'm sure was a "legal" wiretap. He transcribed it for me and emailed it to me. It's pretty illuminating. I'm from the south and even I hadn't heard of this. We pick things up mid-conversation.

Charlie Fox: What?
Willie D: You heard me.
Charlie Fox: Possums?
Willie D: Possums.
Charlie Fox: And raccoons?
Willie D: No doubt. It’s dope. When you come to town, you gotta check it out.
Charlie Fox: Isn’t that illegal?
Willie D: Where on the books, is there a law against possums and raccoons fighting? Point it out to me and I’ll act accordingly.
Charlie Fox: Well if there isn’t, there ought to be.
Willie D: Dude I’ve been hunting coon since I was 12. And I’ve killed more possums than Amy Winehouse killed brain cells.
Charlie Fox: Really?
Willie D: If a possum strolls into your yard, you can shoot him with impunity.
Charlie Fox: Are you serious?
Willie D: What, the cops are gonna jump in my shit for killing a varmint intruding on my property? Not likely. But now, instead of shooting them, I set traps and capture ‘em. Stick ‘em in a cage without food until they’re meaner than Medusa on her period.
Charlie Fox: What about the raccoons?
Willie D: Same thing. Trap ‘em and keep ‘em. But I feed the shit out of them to get ‘em fat.
Charlie Fox: They get big?
Willie D: Try to imagine a pinto with fur, but bigger.
Charlie Fox: Damn!
Willie D: Damn skippy. But once they get fat, I stop feeding them for a week. You wanna talk about nasty? Dude, it gets ugly. Real ugly.
Charlie Fox: Then they fight?
Willie D: Then they fight. You’d think the raccoon has the advantage with his size, but possums are crafty, dirty little bastards. Possums are basically the Dennis Rodman of the Varmint Fighting League. They bite in impolite places. But then again, sometimes the raccoon overpowers the opossum and squashes his ass. It’s fascinating as hell.
Charlie Fox: And people show up to bet on the matches?
Willie D: Hell yeah. It’s like having Animal Planet in your backyard. How many times have you watched Discovery Channel and been like “Yo I got my money on the hyena. Dude is sick.” Now you really can put your money down.
Charlie Fox: What do you with the animals that lose?
Willie D: Finish them off and-
Charlie Fox: Do you do it humanely?
Willie D: Well I don’t cut its nuts off and stick a live wire up his ass. I just put a bullet in its head. Then I drain it, skin it, and eat it.
Charlie Fox: You eat possum and raccoon?
Willie D: I live in the south. What the fuck don’t we eat down here? Besides, if they’re eaten? No evidence.
Charlie Fox: How do they taste?
Willie D: Well, both are a bit gamey. But, if you load up on the hot sauce, onions, and paprika it’s not that bad. I usually end up giving most of it away, anyway.
Charlie Fox: I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.
Willie D: Well believe it, cause this shit’s about to get big. So far, I’ve supplied all the animals, but I got dudes looking to get into training their own. I’m about to make money kid.
Charlie Fox: Just don’t end up like Vick.
Willie D: PETA don’t care about animals that can’t show emotion. You never see them protest lobster fishermen do you? As long as I keep it intra-state, the Feds can’t get me. And if I keep it local and cut the Sheriff in, I’m golden. No worries mate, for real. So, are you gonna check it out when you come to town?
Charlie Fox: Are you crazy? Hell yeah! I gotta see this shit.

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Weekly Tebow Hate

Weekly Tebow Hate has been on hiatus the past two weeks, as I've been trying to build up the necessary animus towards Jehova. I didn't want to shoot my wad before the season started, so I took a few weeks off to let my hate fester. But that's going to change due to the arrival of football this weekend. Come next week, the Tebow hate will be flowing like the River Styx. This week, I'll just throw an incredibly juvenile insult his way.

Tim Tebow is ugly and his mother dresses him funny.

I was going to say that T Squared was an Ewok, but the Ewoks defeated the Empire. So, you know, they've actually accomplished something. Read more!

The Patriot Act

Waldini:

I'm starting to believe this Team USA may be almost as good as Dream Team II. The majority of the sports writers, with the exception of Eric Neel, said Brazil would be a much tougher opponent than the US' first 3. Well I'm looking at the game now and the US is up 50. Can you imagine next summer when they add Wade off the bench?

USA USA USA

Gangsta D:

Did you guys hear Walton at the end of the game? Saunders reiterated how Barbosa finished with only 4 points. Then Walton was like, "You have to remember he's only 24 years old. He came to this country not speaking any english, blah blah blah." What does that have to do with him getting locked down in this game?!? Hilarious as always...

Waldini:

Funny how he was "held" to 4 points...and who was that by? As soon as they lost, all the excuses came out. Nene was out of shape, Varejo and some other Brazillian wasnt there, blah blah blah

Da Realist:

guys.... you're bragging about the team beating BRAZIL. big deal? soccer, yes...basketball, no. their best player is leandro barbosa. he doesn't even start for phoenix.

now i know you two don't need much of an excuse to trumpet all that is kobe, but c'mon.

Gangsta D:

Why do you hate America? Why can't we get a LITTLE support for our country's basketball team? You must be a Dixie Chick fan.

Da Realist:

you know damn well this ain't about "america". this is just an indirect way to blow kobe the rest of the summer.

Waldini:

Actually it is about America. I told you in 04 I hated how the sports media was quick to point out the deficiencies of Team USA and not stand by them. I personally wanted them to destroy in '08 and leave no witnesses. I cant wait until they add Wade to this team. Sick

Gangsta D:

It's OK. I know you hate the great country we live in. Otherwise you'd be exalting the US team like the both of us. It's OK, no one is gonna take away your freedom...at least not for a few months.

Da Realist:

How old is he anyway? When is he gonna retire? isn't there a snapped achilles or knee problems in his future? seems like i been talking "kobe" with you guys for AGES. that dude was playing when we were in college! How long can the brother play?

Waldini:

He said he's gonna retire when you join his fan club.

Gangsta D:

Not only do you hate America, you wish a torn Achilles injury on the best player on earth. Your hate really knows no bounds does it? How about this? I forsee chronic plantar fasciatis in Drew Weatherford's future. How you like that?

Da Realist:

Actually, i don't. that would be giving him an excuse. i enjoy watching him play from october to the beginning of may. See? i'm a fan.

Waldini:

Notice that dig (beginning of May) :-)

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King Ish Talker

So, I was listening to my group's last album the other day and got a brilliant idea. We have a track on there where we just let Waldini talk shit for like 8-9 minutes over a beat. I thought, "Hey this track is great. If I cut it to three minutes and put images on top of the vocals, that would make it spectacular!" So yeah, I put this little thingamajig together. Damn thing nearly drove me nuts, though. At any rate, check it out. I take some good natured jabs at Mariotti and Whitlock. OK, maybe they're not so good natured.



P.S. I know I have too much time on my hands. Blow me. Read more!

Old School Friday - The Randomness

It's another edition of the randomness. And it is rather random this week, as you will soon see. We got some west coast, some east coast, some south. We're all over the map here on Schizophrenic Friday at The Commission. Enjoy the madness.

The D.O.C. - The Formula

"High energy roll with the wisdom, sense of a rich man, knowledge and the rhythm. This is what I'm using to come up with a style so I'll interact altogether better with the crowd." Should've been one of the greatest of all time.




D-Nice - They Call Me D-Nice

What you know about the TR-808? This beat is so damn gangsta, my head's been bobbing for five minutes straight. We used to play this song on the bus, after school, religiously. Has anybody recycled this beat? Shit, I may have to do it my damn self:)




Brandy - I Wanna Be Down (Remix)

"About yea short. About yea tall. About so big. About so small." Umm OK La, sure you're talking about a dude:) Here's another song I heard everyday in the cafeteria freshman year. The original was so-so. But the remix was dope, I can't even lie. The video is tight, but there are a shitload of smudges from Hype Williams' fingerprints. Also, the Ray J cameo just cracks me up. Dude has been mad corny for 13 years. When your biggest claim to fame is pissing on Kim Kardashian, your life has gone awry at some point.




Three 6 Mafia - Tear The Club Up

"Mafia! Mafi mafia!" The black version of the mosh pit. When this song came on, drunk blackfolk lost their collective minds. It was your chance to unleash all the frustration that had built up during the week. And frustration was indeed unleashed. Boy was it unleashed. Even listening to it now, I wanna punch somebody. But I'm the only person here, so that's not gonna pop off. But my keyboard is acting like it wants some!




The Roots - What They Do

One of the greatest videos of all time. How much of this still rings true? About 90% of it:) The Beatdown Shot is just classic.




Keith Murray - The Most Beautifullest Thing

"Don't worry, like Keith Murray I'm a strangle." OK, I realize that beautifullest is not a word. Neither is conversate. Or hella, for that matter. But I give Keith a pass, cause the song is tight. And I don't want him to get in me. That would suck.




Goodie Mob - Cell Theory

"I wonder if the gate was put up to keep crime out, or keep our ass in." My cousin bought this CD in the spring of '96, and didn't buy another one for a year. He listened to it everyday. Yes he is a little nutty to begin with, but that doesn't take away from the greatness of this album...or the insanity of Khujo. Dude was on that shit, for real.

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Winners Win. Cryers Cry.

Da Realist

The 100 greatest beatdowns in history

95. NBA referees versus Sacramento Kings, Game 6, 2002 Western Conference finals: Kings called for 27 fourth-quarter fouls against the
Lakers as L.A. pulled out a 106-102 victory.

Gangsta D:

How did I know you would parse that ONE item from a hundred? Lol

Will we mention how Shaq fouled out of games 2 and 5, while getting to the line less than 10 times combined? Will we mention that? Nope, no need to mention that.

Da Realist:

THAT'S for the pippen debate you started. i felt like i had to choose between 2 children or pick my favorite grandmother.

Waldini:

Funny how anybody but a Lakers fan will always point to Game 6 as the poor, deserving Kings getting the wrong end of the referees whistle. Let's talk about Game 5 as Gangsta stated. Shaq fouls out, the Lakers were getting the wrong end of the ref's whistles, the Kings "won" that game. Or let's talk about Game 4 where bad refereeing was involved and the Kings blew a 20 pt lead. Shoot Divac should have been the Miller Genuine Draft player of the game for passing the ball to Horry to make the game winning 3. Or Let's talk, Game 7, on your own home floor, again no bad refereeing. both teams went to the FT line the same amount of times. One team just choked it away. I'm sorry if you are hanging Game 6 as the reason you lost a series, you are a jackass. What happened in Games 1-5 and 7. You didnt close out in those games. Bottom line, winners win, losers lose. Dont cry for the Queens. They were built for the regular season.

Shoot you're telling me you rather have a perennial underachiever (Chris Webber), the king of flopping (Vlade Divac), a man who cant control his wife (Doug Christie) and Mr April (Peja Stojakovic) representing the NBA as your champion. Get the f*** outta here.

Gangsta D:

Chuuuuch...

Waldini:

87. 2001 Fiesta Bowl: The once-pathetic Oregon State Beavers, full of pregame boasts, humiliated Notre Dame 41-9 -- and it could have been worse, as the Beavers were flagged for 18 penalties, many for illegal roughness and cheap shots.87. 2001 Fiesta Bowl: The once-pathetic Oregon State Beavers, full of pregame boasts, humiliated Notre Dame 41-9 -- and it could have been worse, as the Beavers were flagged for 18 penalties, many for illegal roughness and cheap shots.

Oh that game was GREAT! The touchdown celebration Chad Johnson and TJ Houzamandeh did in the end zone was classic.

Gangsta D:

Maybe the best TD celebration ever.

Da Realist:

FRAME THIS:-)

If you care about basketball, Friday night's Game 6 of the Western Conference finals was a rip-off. The Kings and Lakers didn't decide this series would be extended until Sunday; three referees did. Statistical evidence is usually circumstantial, but consider this anyway: the Lakers had shot an average of 22 foul shots through the first five games of this series, but on Friday night here at home they shot 27 . . . in the fourth quarter.

Gangsta D:

Fuck Wilbon! Not really, but I don't wanna hear it:)

Waldini:

I didn't know Wilbon had a drinking problem. Read more!

Better Than Cody? Nah Pimpin'

Awful Announcing has unearthed a gem of a video from 1991. It stars a flag football player named Carly ripping defenses to shreds. Yeah, that's right Carly is a girl. She has some nice moves and decent speed, although it's hard to tell cause everything is in slow motion. Anyway, AA wonders if Carly outshines Cody Paul, AKA The Truth. Let's take a look.



Not too shabby. She's got a nice arm and breaks on the ball like a champ. But she's no Cody Paul. She doesn't have the vision, quickness, explosiveness, or swagger. She also doesn't have a banging soundtrack. Every good hero should have one. At any rate, Carly gets mad respect no doubt. But Cody Paul is still the motherfucking Truth.

Mini Highlight Real

Add to My Profile | More Videos Read more!

She's Finally Being Put To Rest

Da Realist:

How do you feel about this?

The Hurricanes will play at Dolphin Stadium starting in 2008, leaving the historic but decaying Orange Bowl in what university president Donna Shalala called "a painful and sad decision." University trustees voted to make the move Tuesday, despite the offer of $206 million by city officials to renovate one of Miami's best-known landmarks.

Gangsta D:

Mixed. You can't beat a night game at the Orange Bowl between the Canes and some other top five team. I can't imagine running through the smoke out of a different stadium will elicit the same emotions. On the other hand, Miami is a private school with a smaller fanbase that isn't making nearly as much money as it should. An extra $1.5-4 million a year would be HUGE. Plus, the Orange Bowl was an obsolute hole, located in not the best of neighborhoods. In the long run, it's a good move. If the Canes are winning, it's not gonna matter where the games are played.

Da Realist:

in spite of the progress, i don't like it at all. i got memories at the orange bowl -- even if a lot of them are bad ones. the orange bowl has character. i've been to dolphin stadium for the orange bowl game twice. the stadium is meant for the nfl. modern, high tech, a lot of anemities...but bland. very bland. i got lost once after the usc/oklahoma game because all sides look exactly the same. it's a bland stadium located in a middle of a huge parking lot that is 30 miles north of miami. bleh!

Gangsta D:

Yeah, I can see both sides but it's a necessary move. At some point you have to stop hemorrhaging money. We're trying to raise money to improve the facilities, so it makes good business sense.

I'm surprised you're not in favor of the move. After three wide rights, a wide left, and a block I figured you couldn't wait to see games played somewhere else:)

Da Realist:

i've learned to respect history, even ones that bring about bad memories. there is nothing at dolphin stadium that can match the smoke entrance you guys have at the orange bowl or how the U-shape of the stadium affects both halves of the game (miami usually forced the opponent to kick off from the enclosed end during the second half to maximize crowd noise). and i'm partial to the 12 o'clock start (midday) because that was usually when the florida state game started. the noon start makes it a game of attrition. fitness becomes an issue by the middle of the third quarter.

anyway, i'm getting off on a tangent. it won't be the same. it won't affect how good your team is and it may help with recruits (although, you've never had a problem with this before), but the environment will not be the same.

Gangsta D:

Miami and FSU will NEVER play at the Orange Bowl again. That just hit me. AND you guys won the final meeting there. That blows on so many levels. Mothereff FSU!!! I'm soooo ready for football.

Da Realist:

he who laughs last... :-D

Waldini:

If Boston Garden, Chicago Stadium, and the LA Forum can go down, then so can the Orange Bowl

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The G.O.A.T. vs The Banana

Gangsta D:

What sayeth Senor Realist about this ode to Pippen?

I should preface this post by reminding everyone that Jordan is one of, if not the, greatest basketball players of all time, and this is not suppose to diminish his accomplishments or achievements. It's suppose to be a reminder, if anything, that great players may be great in any setting, but to become the type of star that dominates the game like Jordan did, you have to have some help. Pippen was more than just a role player, damn it. He was one of the greatest talents we'll ever see in our lives, too. But he's destined to be underappreciated.

Da Realist:

i agree with most of his points. pippen was a great all-around player and never gets his due. jordan's star shined so brilliantly that even someone of pippen's caliber gets lost in it sometimes.

but where we differ is "Replace Jordan with a comparable SG at the time"... there IS NO comparable sg at that time or at any time. let's not do the opposite -- diminish jordan to enhance pippen. there still are 2 different roles here. it's disrespectful to call pippen a "second banana" but it's idiotic to ignore the fact that jordan did what he did as the primary focus of the entire league every single night.

as much as pippen allowed jordan to be jordan -- check the numbers (this from a guy that hates citing statistics) -- jordan allowed pippen to be pippen. look at the astronomical numbers jordan posted pre-1990 on both ends of the floor and compare them to the relatively "pedestrian" numbers he posted from that point on.

and about the notion of jordan only winning as a second banana if there was no pippen... go back and look at tape. you tell me if you think jordan would have kept being denied year after year as the alpha dog in the nba without pippen. he pushed the world champs to 7 games in 90 with virtually no help from pippen. would he have won 6 without pip? NO, but he would have won at least a couple.

every great superstar needs help to win titles. look at those celtics and lakers teams that larry and magic had the pleasure of playing with. no one denies that magic was the man for the lakers. sure kareem and james worthy were big time players on that team, but they were not MAGIC. same with the celtics. why does everyone talk about bird and not mchale? because no matter how good mchale was, he was not larry bird. even when michael cooper made larry look ordinary, it was still larry's team. joe dumars even won a finals mvp, but is there any doubt whatsoever who was the man for the pistons?

pippen should get more due. he was a great player and one of the greatest all around players the nba has ever seen. but he was not michael jordan. and there is no comparable player.

Waldini:

well said Realist...

Another thing to bring up about lack of credit is people tend to remember the incidents in '94 (when he refused to go back into the game) and '99 (when he ripped Barkley before camp opened). Plus post Bulls era, he didnt help any of the teams he was on, get over the hump, or show the leadership that folks expected. I think either was unfair to Pip as in his prime, he was phenomenal. A great defensive player and basically did everything that was asked of him

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