Suited And Booted

I consider myself to be a decent size guy, at 6'3" 220 pounds. Charles Oakley could take each of my limbs and twist them into something resembling a Jackson Pollack still life. And he's 45!!! So when the Oak man decides to give me advice on style, I'm definitely going to listen.

Details Magazine talked to Oakley about the various degrees of sartorial style present in today's NBA.

"Why would I want to look like someone laying on the sidewalk can't get no food, can't get this, can't get that, can't get a suit and wear it on a consistent basis?! It's embarrassing."

Yeah, I'm not trying to have him talk about my sense of style with a scowl on his face. Check out this photo gallery, where Charles waxes poetic on the NBA's style bearers.

Read more!

The Champ Is Here!

Well, it's time for another liquor review. As you know, my girl and I have taken it upon ourselves to review various spirits over the last several months. I usually whip up a batch of greasy food, and we spend the night pigging out and polishing off the bottle. We then, in a semi-coherent state, write the review. Up next on the list was 1800 Silver Tequila.

For the night, I cooked up two pounds of shrimp and a pound of Rogerwood sausage to munch on. My girl came over, and we got down to business. The first thing I noticed was the "100 Proof" in BIG letters on the front of the bottle. I looked at Angel, and said "Damn." We had no idea what we were in store for. Once I pulled the cork out, I knew it was on. I was like, "Babe. This is gonna be a problem."

This is how the night went:

1st shot - Shaken/straight up: "Wow! That...is strong. Let's try it without smelling it.

2nd shot - Shaken/straight up: "Wow! Let's try it with table salt."

3rd shot - Shaken/Table salt chaser: "Wow! Let's try the kosher salt."

4th shot - Shaken/Kosher salt chaser: "Wow! Let's...have another. What? You don't have to drive."

5th shot - Shaken/Kosher salt chaser: "Wow! Let's...not drink anymore tonight. I see three of you and only one of you is cute."

My girl and I...how can I put this? When it comes to alcohol, we "ain't no punks." We can put down liquor like it's apple juice. But we may have met our match with the 1800 Silver. It's a powerful liquor that suffers no amateurs. Only the experienced drinker need apply, because the 100 Proof designation is not a typo. We couldn't finish the bottle, and it took me a week and a half to write this review. That's the kind of sway that it holds.

The 1800 Silver is not a casual, sipping spirit. It is a "get together with your friends, and a have an absolute freaking blast, cause no one will be lucid in 20 minutes" spirit. Read more!

This Is What Your Mama Warned You About

So as you know, my girl and I are connoisseurs of fine liquors. During one of our never ending searches for new spirits, we came across 1800 Select Silver. Neither of us had tried it before, so we decided that we'd give it a test drive. The fact that it's 100 proof, and it's just hard as Hades to legally find 100 proof liquors, didn't hurt matters.

When the package arrived, we were intrigued by the two and a half foot box. I wondered just how big this bottle of tequila was. After tearing through the packaging, we were sort of let down by the sight of the nine inch bottle. Nevertheless, upon opening the bottle we realized that the size of the box was necessary in order to contain the toe curling awesomeness that lied within. One sniff of the cap and we knew that this wasn't something to take lightly. They weren't joking about 100 proof.

Now, I must say that neither my girl nor I are soft when it comes to liquor. We'll try ANYTHING once. But right now? Trying that 1800? Nah, we're gonna have to postpone this drinking session for a little bit. Have no fears. We will tackle the 1800 Silver, probably later on tonight. But first we have to get our collective minds right. Stay tuned for the actual review. It promises to be one Hell of a barn burner. Read more!

All Right Folks, Time For A New Drink

Class, it's time to put you up on a new drink. The good people at Gran Centenario have unleashed a new tequila on the world: Rosangel Tequila.

Rosangel, the world’s first-ever hibiscus-infused tequila continues to blossom with recent accolades from industry leaders and strong consumer sales growth. Since the product’s launch in February, Rosangel has wowed mixologists, bartenders, spirits insiders and the tequila-drinking public with its fresh approach to infused tequila and delicious, versatile flavor profile.

At the 2009 San Francisco World Spirits Competition – the largest spirits competition in the U.S. – Rosangel was honored with a Double Gold medal in the flavored-spirits category. This distinction is only awarded when the entire panel of judges agrees that the expression is worthy of a Gold Medal.

Rosangel also received a Four-Star – Highly Recommended rating from F. Paul Pacult’s Spirit Journal. In his review Pacult heralded Rosangel as, “a sterling addition to the already strong Gran Centenario line.” During a recent bartender training at Clover Club in Brooklyn, NY, Pacult also noted Rosangel was the “gold standard” for the flavored tequila category.

Check out the video below, where Julie Reiner and F.Paul Pacult wax poetic about this new offering.



I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a bottle. I will be reviewing Rosangel in the next few weeks. Definitely check back for that. Until then, happy drinking. Read more!

Rogue's Gallery: Mum-Ra, Snakes Eyes, & A Helmet-less Destro

Da Realist:

Classic.



Gangsta D:

I hope Snarf isn't in the big screen adaptation...if it ever comes out.

Waldini:

Ancient Spirits of Hollywood do NOT transform this old cartoon into a LIIIIVEEE adaptation AaRRGGHGHGH

Gangsta D:

It all depends on the makeup. If the makeup looks janky, it's gonna suck. But if Rick Baker does it, and it looks dope, you can't tell me you wouldn't be first in line to see it. It would be EPIC. But it just depends on how the characters look.

Waldini:

I'm not gonna say I will never see it b/c I had very negative thoughts on transformers before it came, saw it, and loved it (I'm so there for Transformers 2). I just saw the GI Joe trailer, also am not feeling seeing it but who knows, never say never.

I mean they got GI Joe this summer, Voltron on the horizon, and Thundercats soon after.

Gangsta D:

I just want to see Snake Eyes vs Storm Shadow and I'll be good. The rest looks like Ehhhhh. Destro without the helmet? All righty then. I'm sure we'll see it at some point in the movie, but he's just not Destro withthout the helmet:)

Waldini:

Man do you remember how hard it was to find the Original Snake Eyes and
Storm Shadow in the toy store :-) ?

Gangsta D:

No. Cause I got neither! Lol I did have Shipwreck though:)

Read more!

"What Did I Tell You? What Did I Tell You?"

I'm not married. But if I were married, I'm sure I would appreciate my wife listening to me. Sometimes, however, women just don't listen. Some people can be told, whilst others must be shown. The following video is indicative of the latter. At first glance you may think it's a fake, but I believe this is the genuine article.



Did she go apeshit or what?!? I love dude's "Come on baby," and the reaction is priceless. He probably didn't get any for about six months, but I bet she listened to him henceforth. Chapter read. Lesson learned. Read more!

Sheriff Bart Is Smiling In Heaven

So, last year my boy and decided to take a camera to the streets of Buckhead and capture the madness therein. We got a lot of nice footage, but the video below is the coup de gracie. I like to call him the "Sidekick Stud."



Apparently, though, I'm the only person amused by it. I sent it to my homegirl and this is her unedited response:

well for me i am primarily pro black and a feminist an that guy just irritated me in all kind of ways. thats why i didnt like it. he came off as a self hating sexist pig who need to keep his ass in atl because he wouldnt get pussy anywhere else whether black or white

Ouch! I can see her point. But, fuck it. This shit is hilarious to me. It is what it is. If you were offended, sorry. This dude fucking cracks me up. Plus, he dropped a Ghetto Mafia reference. Ghetto Mafia! You gotta love it.


p.s. Here is Episode I, if you were curious.

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20 Questions - The Ladylike Edition

We have a visitor to class today boys and girls. You know her as The Head Chick, or better yet the HCIC of Leave The Man Alone. Now even though the Head Chick is a cool customer, she does have a few issues. For one, she's a lawyer. Boo! Also, she thinks Dwayne Wade walks on water. Boo Squared! Of course, I wouldn't normally deign to associate with someone with such a pedigree, but she's a Hoya to the end and she likes T.O. So as you can see, it all kind of evens out. Plus, she's pretty damn funny. Anyhoo, I got a chance to ask her 20 asinine questions. Here are her more intelligent answers.

1. Dwyane Wade or TO?

HCIC: TO. Dwyane is the truth, but he seeems like he might be boring in person. TO probably is too, but he has a nice smile and a sweet southern accent.


2. Would you give sartorial advice to Whitlock for six months if it meant never having to pay taxes of any kind for the rest of your life?

HCIC: Yes, all urchins deserve an attempt at outreach.


3. If you could smack one college professor in the face, who would it be? Why?

HCIC: I went to a Jesuit institution. You can't smack priests.


4. When I was in school, a cow got loose on 75/85 during rush hour. If you hit the cow with your car, think you’d be able to keep the meat?

HCIC: Maybe. People would probably look at you funny when you loaded the meat in the back of the pick up. It might not be worth the trouble. Sure, you could take the cow. But do you have a butcher on speed dial? Who's cutting that sucker up?


5. The Falcons, by some miracle, are playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship Game. The game starts at 3:30. At 3:10, the tv in the living room blows out. None of the other tv’s in the house are hooked up to satellite. You live 5 miles from Wal-Mart, 20 minutes from the nearest sports bar, and you’re neighbors are assholes. What do you do?

HCIC: Wow. This is a very stressful scenario, mainly b/c I would be thrust in the horrible position of choosing between my favorite player (TO) and my favorite team. I've already been through the trauma once. The Falcons won out, although I couldn't help but laugh everytime Terrell burned DeAngela Hall. But as for your question. I have to choose the sports bar. Do you know how long the lines are at Wal Mart? The drive might be 5 minutes, but it will take an hour to get out of there. Plus sports bars have draft beer. Tasty.


6. Why do we get ON a plane, but get IN a car?

HCIC: Who knows? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that planes were primarily open air transports.


7. Michael Irvin vs Tom Jackson in a fight. Who you got?

HCIC: Irvin. He probably carries a knife in that windsor knot.


8. At their comedic peak, who was funnier? Eddie Murphy or Chris Rock?

HCIC: Eddie Murphy. Chris Rock is cool, but he coasts on his funny voice. If he told those jokes in a regular voice, how much would you laugh?


9. If the Thrashers won the Stanley Cup, would anyone in ATL know?

HCIC: What are the Thrashers?


10. Would you rather watch a DeAngelo Hall reality show or one based on Joey Harrington?

HCIC: Harrington. How riveting would it be to watch DeAngela stare at himself in the mirror 16 hours a day? Joey's beauty is natural.


11. Which would you cherish more? Free gas for a year or a free in-house gourmet chef for a year?

HCIC: Free gas. I can throw down in the kitchen on my own, thank you very much.


12. Who would have the funniest apeshit rant on live tv:

Joe Buck
Tony Kornheiser
Woody Page
Stephen A
Mike Ditka

HCIC: Joe Buck. He would turn as red as his pouty lips! His would be the best b/c it would be the most unexpected. The rest of those guys...You already know they're one spark away from an explosion.


13. If you owned a catering company, would you sell your services to a porn production company? Would the type of porn make a difference?

HCIC: Without hesitation. No, the type of porn wouldn't matter as long as it was limited to humans. But no granny or fatty porn.


14. One sporting event you would (theoretically) give up your kid to attend?

HCIC: Right now, I'd like to see Barry break the record in AT&T Park.


15. When is the last time you think Billy Packer got some?

HCIC: I choose not to think of Billy Packer in that way.


16. Would you let Marv Albert do the play by play on your child’s birth?

HCIC: Yes, he would be enthusiastic, supportive and insightful.


17. Who has more street cred? Vitale or Lee Corso?

HCIC: Corso. You know bitches are always trying to get at Herbstreit. Lee is getting love in the streets.


18. Who knocked back more chicks? Magic or Jordan?

HCIC: Probably Jordan. Cause you know you have to subtract the dudes from Magic's total.


19. Would you rather be able to fly a plane or do card tricks? Why?

HCIC: Fly a plane. Card tricks are corny.


20. If Ron Artest had James Evans as a father, would he have turned out the same way?

HCIC: Well... Look at JJ. He's no prize. Read more!