It's Not A Toomer...It's A Wife

If you’re a black Giants player, don’t marry a white chick. She will break you off, and not in the way you want. Just ask Michael Strahan. If you marry an Asian chick, she won’t take your money she’ll just take your balls. Right Tiki? Anyhoo, word is Amani Toomer feels he’s been bamboozled by his wife. Apparently he wants children, and she wants to see how many abortions one can have while remaining fertile.

Amani says that she won’t cook, clean, or take her medicine. THAT’S the funniest shit ever. I’m sure he never thought he’d have to utter those words about a spouse, ever. Yet and still, Amani isn’t totally off the hook here. After the second abortion, I think the light bulb should’ve clicked on. If a chick makes a promise to have a family, but then has more than one abortion she was probably lying in order to marry you. Shocking I know. Women are way too trustworthy to suspect anything nefarious like that.

At any rate, I think Amani could’ve avoided this trouble from jump. No way should he have married her. Why? Her name is Yola Dabrowski. Yola Dabrowski. Never marry any woman named Yola Dabrowski. That’s the white equivalent of a black chick named LaShanitra Jenkins, La Shay Shay for short. Nothing good will ever come from marrying a Yola or a La Shay Shay, or a Joumana for that matter. I hope Amani has a good lawyer, and stays the fuck away from Strahan for advice.

Hopefully he’s learned his lesson. Once this divorce is final, maybe he’ll look to the chicas for a little Six Minutes Of Pleasure. Just make sure her name isn’t Lupe Guadalupe.