What The Damn? - Shaq Smoking That Ish Edition

Waldini:

Wonder Boy???

"We have professionals who know what to do," O'Neal said of playing for the Suns. No one is asking me to play with Chris Quinn or Ricky Davis. I'm actually on a team again."

Such remarks extended to the top of the team's talent ladder, with O'Neal privately referring to Dwyane Wade as "Wonder Boy," rekindling memories of the ugly departures O'Neal had from Penny Hardaway with the Magic and Kobe Bryant with the Lakers.

The ironic thing is that Diesel is endorsing Kobe for MVP - "The Kobester. He's an assassin"

Gangsta D:

Wow, what a surprise. Shaq rips his former team. Now where have we seen this before? Oh yeah. Everywhere he's been. When things go well, his coach is the best coach he's ever played for; his team is the best team he's ever played on. But the tune changes when things go badly, which he never has a hand in. Then the coach sucks and his ex-teammates are busters. It will happen once he leaves Pheonix, and if another team is stupid enough to trade for him it'll happen there too. That's Shaq for you.

Waldini:

I think it's good marketing on Shaq's part. Drum up enough interest in a team that's going nowhere and voila you have a Mia-Phx Christmas showdown for at least two years. Then if he starts feuding with one of the Heat players, they can continue talking smack back and forth via the media, and they can patch up their differences on MLK day or some other holiday that's about peace. But in the end, the attention stays on Shaq, he reaps financial rewards, and takes the focus off his deteriorating game.

Gangsta D:

Wait. It's almost like we've seen this movie before. Can't quite put my finger on it...

Read more!

Of Heations and Cowboys

Waldini:

I know the Heat are bad but damn I didn't think a team with Flash and Diesel would be 20 games under .500. I actually watched 5-10 mins of their last 2 nationally televised games and I was appalled at how empty the seats were. And these are games featuring marketable teams (Bulls, Cavs). Have the Heat really sunk this far? I know they are pinning hopes on the lottery now but I don't see anyone in college that can make an immediate impact to save this sinking ship. Flash is gone in '09. Mark
my words.....

Da Realist:

Shaq 4 titles
Kobe 3

That's the basis of all these heat emails.

Waldini:

The basis is that I hate seeing cities act like bandwagon fans which shit don't go right. This team just won a title 2 years ago and this is what they get in support. It's why I got annoyed in Houston when the Astros made it to the World Series.

The Cowboys may have down years but the fans still come out and support.


Da Realist:

Speaking of cowboys. I heard an interesting debate last yesterday. Do you think it's possible that this year's patriots are better than the 1995 barry switzer cowboys?

Waldini:

For the sake of giving Gangsta a heart attack this morning, I say yes.

Gangsta D:

They're better than the '95 Cowboys. But I don't know about the '92 Cowboys. If Deion played on the '92 squad, there would be no question. People forget how lethal that defense was. Ask Jim Kelly and the high flying Bills how good they were. But don't get me started.... Read more!

NBA Ruminations

Waldini:

I know it's early but still some of current NBA ongoings are funny as hell..

- Like Starbury going AWOL in NY. I take the rumors with a grain of salt but if they prove to be true, this is going to be some funny s***. Star not happy about being benched so he asks to stay home, 'Zeke thinking of buying out his contract, Star rebutting that he's got stuff on 'Zeke. Aww New York New York big city with dreams.

- "Me? Play. I guarantee you I should suit up. I'd play better than some of them right now. I guarantee it. I swear to God. With an old hip and 62 years old and I can't see, I'll play better than some of my guys tonight. Come on, they were pretty bad." Riles made that comment last night after the Heat were blown out by Charlotte.

- Early comparisons of this year's Celtics to the '95-96 Bulls. Why are they even going there with this one? But for kicks Rondo vs Harper (Bulls WIN), Airness vs Jesus SHuttlesworth (Bulls WIN), Migraine vs A stab victim called Pierce (Bulls WIN), Worm vs Da Kid (wash), Down Under vs Dont call me Sam Perkins (Bulls WIN). Even the bench and coaching favors the Bulls. Again why go there

But these things are funny as hell to me

Gangsta D:

The Celtics are 6-0. This isn't the NFL! They got 76 more games to go! You're talking about a team that's lead by three players who've never been to the Finals, and a coach who's never won a playoff series! Can't the media spend more time talking about OJ? Lol

The Heat are a mess, and a Dwyane Wade at 90% isn't gonna make them THAT much better. Obviously, I'm revelling in their misery. The Lakers may be mediocre, but at least we don't currently reside in a 10 gallon bag of suck.

Steph. What to say about Steph? I actually thought the Knicks had a chance to make a run at the playoffs. And maybe they still do, but they're not mentally tough enough to deal with these distractions and fight through it. It's gonna be an entertaining year in the NBA, for all the wrong reasons.

Da Realist:

Didn't see the game last night but damn, it look like y'all brought everything but the kitchen sink and a bucket of chicken to stop Tim Duncan. I know Chris Mihm didn't do that on his own.

I'm surprised at Phil. I would think the gameplan against the spurs would be the opposite -- let tim get his all game but shut down everyone else. (when has he ever scored 50 points?) Maybe that wears him down by the 4th quarter when you can bang him around a little bit.

We all know he's not the best free throw shooter. No one else will step up because they're out of sync. voilà...lakers win.

But I'm not the one with 9 rings.

Gangsta D:

It was actually back and forth for the first 20 minutes of the game. Turiaf and Kwame were beasting Duncan. Kobe had a sick block on Timmeh and Turiaf had 2 or 3. But no one could stop Parker, and they started leaving Matt Bonner(Matt Bonner?!?) and Bowen open. A 1 point Laker lead with 4 minutes to go in the half turned into a 16 point deficit. Game. Set. Match.

Waldini:

What happened was the Lakers could not stop tripping over themselves. They had 8 turnovers in the first quarter, 14 overall in the first half. The Spurs were ice cold until mid way 2nd quarter but the boys didn't capitalize. And when the Spurs got hot (well really TP, Matt bonner and Bowen) it was a wrap.

Phil threw the 3 headed monster at Tim last night and he had problems. All 3 did a pretty decent job. Kobe actually was too unselfish for most of the night. His teammates kept screwing up the easiest passes and negated his all around effort. Check the highlight reel to see his blocks on Duncan...TWICE!

Da Realist:

SIGNS OF THE APOCOLYPSE - to get beat by the likes of Bruce *@#$! Bowen Read more!

Rogue's Gallery: Fat Shaq, Evil Kobe, & "Souless" John Paxon

Gangsta D:

You know I'm smiling. We may only be .500, but at least we're not winless. Sorry, Realist:)

How awesome would that be to have Riley bench someone with the ego and star power of Shaq as a punishment for picking up too many fouls? And if this did actually happen, would this count as one of the 12 games off that Riley offered to give Shaq if he was healthy for 70? I need some clarification on this. Either way, the Heat are a complete disaster right now, and I'm not sure that even the return of Dwyane Wade will be enough to get things totally straightened out.

Da Realist:

Here's the problem. Shaq has fossilized. Everyone should have sold their house and got out of town after that fluke championship a couple of years ago. Riley should have retired. Shaq should have retired. Payton should have retired. Walker and Jwill should have followed the wind somewhere. That team was garbage and it won on wade's back against a soft-hearted team that just wasn't ready for big time.

Riley is stirring it up again. He's not blind. He knows Shaq is at the end of the rope. Why criticize him now? You knew what you were getting when you decided to come back. His act is gonna wear thin again and then he'll disappear. But he should have left AFTER THE TITLE.

I should be a consultant. what am i doing sitting at this desk. I could make good money convincing people to listen to their common sense.

Bobby Bowden? Please retire. You're ruining your legacy.

Pat Riley? You just won a fluke championship. Retire on top before everyone else figures it out.

Shaq? C'mon. You avg'd 9 points a game against Dallas. You were once a 40 and 20 man. don't do it. 4 titles is nothing to sneeze at. Move to LA and rub it in everyone's face.

Phil jackson? Might want to look at an exit strategy. This could get ugly. Again.

Doc Rivers? Have your agent stay in contact with TNT or ESPN. When the Cetics fail, guess who will be the fall guy.

I'm in the wrong business.

Gangsta D:

Interesting points. What advice would you give John Paxson?

Da Realist:

There was an old show back in the 80's that i used to love called, "Friday the 13th: The Series". It was about cursed objects that gave the owner instant gratification in exchange of his/her soul. It never ended well for the owner.

My advice to John Paxson: Don't sell your soul for instant gratification. Sure Kobe could get us much farther than we've been getting in the pathetic east , but at what price? Even the LAKERS are tiring of him. Don't do it.

Gangsta D:

Wow. Friday the 13th: The Series. That might be the analogy of the year.

When do the Lakers play IN Chicago? My dream is scenario is this:

The lakers are playing well, not gangbusters, but a top 6 seed. The Bulls are struggling around .500 in danger of missing the playoffs. Kobe comes to town and absolutely LIGHTS up the Bulls for 40 or 50 and the Lakers win by 20. As Kobe walks off the court, the Bulls fans start
chanting "KOBE! KOBE! KOBE!" or "WE WANT KOBE! WE WANT KOBE!" If that were to happen? Dude, the Lakers could trade Kobe to whoever, 5 minutes after the game, and I would be straight. Just the thought of you and G-Nice having to witness that and swallow it, would be worth it for me. Now THAT is hate:) Read more!

Season On The Brink

Gangsta D:

How long before Bron pulls a Kobe? The Cavs haven't improved over last year. Pavlovic and Varajeo are playing hardball with Danny Ferry. Bron's good enough to get them to the playoffs, but he's gonna need SOME help to advance. He just isn't the kind of player that's willing to take over every single night. Of course, I'm being facetious about him "pulling a Kobe." He's too media savvy to do that in public. But I have to imagine, he will be mighty pissed behind the scenes, if the Cavs start off slowly.

Can you imagine the playoffs without Bron and Wade? I think the Cavs will make the playoffs, but the Heat is another story. Adding Ricky Davis has never been seen as a harbinger of good news. If Shaq thought Kobe was selfish and a ball hog, what is he gonna think of "Mr. Shoot at the wrong basket to get a triple-double?"

Waldini:

I think there's a reason why they both signed 3 yrs deals. In case the direction of the franchise is not headed in a positive direction (which it looks like it's not), then they can break camp. The Heat and Cavs should both make the playoffs in a still weak East. The Celtics, Pistons, and Bulls are a given but who else should they fear? Washington? New York? New Jersey? Orlando? Puhlease those teams are all mediocre, even at full strength.

Side note: If I'm Cavs mgmt, I dont care what Lebron says about his two missing bench players. I wouldn't cripple my franchise for one player that wants 10mil a year to avg 6 pts and 6rbs a game and another player that wants the full mid-level for playing slightly above average defense. They already messed up giving big contracts to Donyell Marshall, Z train, Hughes, and Damon Jones. Don't make it more worse.

Side note 2: I have no idea what the Heat are doing. Ricky Buckets for Antoine Walker is a nil deal. Both bring nothing to the table. They are trying to shop White Chocolate around but he's 32. Shaq's still a top 5 center but he's not gonna drop 25 a night every game anymore. And they're putting a lot of stock in Wade coming back from a bad shoulder injury at 100%. They are a very old old team.....

Gangsta D:

Maybe the Cavs shouldn't sign the "furners" but they need to do SOMETHING. This team is worse off in an improved, if only slightly, conference. If Bron has to put up 35/10/9 every night just to keep the Cavs in the game, he might be adding a Knicks hat to his Yankees hat.

Of course, we have our own problems. I'm pretty much over the "Kobe Situation." Either trade him or don't. Otherwise, everyone STFU about it already. We have holes bigger than Vanessa Del Rio, but I like our bench players. Drew will be better this year. 18/10/2? No, but better than last year. Farmar is improved, Crittendon looks promising, and "Hook 'em" Mihm has shown some decent offensive moves. If we have a healthy Lamar, we can be a good team.

Look out for the Knicks this year. I have a feeling Zeke will have them playing well and in the hunt for a playoff spot.

Waldini:

You know they won't STFU about it but I agree. There's so much politics involved from Kobe unwilling to drop his no trade clause to his distrust of Kupchak and Buss not to send him into purgatory to the kids arguing about keeping Kobe and/or Phil to Phil publicly pleading with Kobe for committment. Yada yada yada. I don't see how this team functions w/o all this drama.

Read more!

Daily Wade Hate

Gangsta D:

He said what?

When you have to facilitate and when you have to quote-on-quote, get your own," Wade said. "As a point guard, there's not many plays that's ran for you and you have to go score. When I'm at the 2, there's plays that's ran for me and I can get a couple of easy buckets, get a couple of easy opportunities. But as a point guard, you have to make a lot of things happen. So that's why it takes more out of you than the
off-guard.

Geez, someone sounds mad selfish and unable to grasp good grammar:) I thought Flash was a team player, willing to do anything to help the team. Interesting that he's more interested in having plays run for him. Hmmm....

Da Realist:

sounds like he's just stating the difference between the 1 and the 2. no hidden messages.

kobe got y'all messed up.

Gangsta D:

Right! You're absolutely right.

He doesn't want to play the point, is...the point. He doesn't want to play the point for the reasons listed below. His team SUCKS at the PG position right now. They're thinking of bringing in Brevin Knight or Franchise. Wade could be the "team player" everyone makes him out to be and embrace the opportunity, or he could do what he's doing. If a player the media isn't blowing, doesn't have to be Kobe, said the same thing he'd be castigated.

Waldini:

Stop sippin' on that haterade pimpin. He's just expressing his desire to do what's best for the team. He epitomizes the true essence of an NBA champion. Everyone in the league should take note of his diatribe and let it become the mantra that they follow for the season (You hear me Kobe...)

Gangsta D:

You're right. My hatred has blinded me. I should personally apologize to Flash-in-The-Pan.

Waldini:

On behalf of the Flash Fan Club, I accept your apology. Now go forth young man and let your hate be no more. And make sure you wear the white tee shirt to the next game to show your love.

Gangsta D:

How about I show up with my shoulder in a sling, sitting in a wheelchair?

Waldini:

wrap a bandage around your head and I can set up with a pic with Flash himself after the game to show his human side. I might even throw in his wife wearing the same leopard cat suit she wore on Christmas day if you act right.

Da Realist:

dang... you cut the boy no slack. and you are a fan of the biggest actor in hollywood! Read more!

Musings From The Great Waldini

Waldini:

- Do you realize the Southeast division (Heat, Wiz, Magic) went 0-12 in the playoffs? It's the first time in playoff history that's happened from one division

- Do you realize Shaq & Kobe led teams went a combined 1-8 in the playoffs? Are we sure they don't miss and/or need each other? And does anyone not think both teams will be blown up over the summer?

- Did you know that Riley's last two championship teams ('88 Lakers, '06 Heat) both were swept out the playoffs?

- Should Carmelo be worried that his team continue to get put out in the first round? And what's scarier is that each year his teams get better but yet the same result (out in 4 or 5 games)?

- Does the Pistons/Bulls have the same aura as the old Pistons/Bulls series from the 80s/90s?

Just a few thoughts....

Gangsta D:

Bulls/Pistons won't have the same verve unless there's a fight or two. Nocioni predicted a Bulls win in 7 games, so that gets things started.

Carmelo is starting to look like McGrady. It's not gonna get any easier in the west unless Duncan and/or Nash retire/get injured. I wonder what they'll do to that team this summer.

The Lakers and Heat will definitely both be blown up. I just hope Kupchak makes smart decisions. He really hasn't made horrible decisions, they just haven't been great. I think there will be a firesale in Miami. Riles is gonna COMPLETELY overhaul that roster. Don't think for a moment that Shaq is safe. I'm not saying he will get traded, but Riles would be stupid not to listen to offers. Read more!

I'm The Most Dominant Ever....To Be Traded To The Suns?

Gangsta D:

If you're an NBA MG, would you trade for Shaq this offseason?

Da Realist:

slice. add salt. repeat.

leave the man alone. remember -- he still has one-up on your boy kob.

to answer your question...no. i would make him focus solely on rebounding like an old moses malone when he played for the hawks. he can still be effective without such a scoring load. it's the OTHERS that need to be dealt with.

Gangsta D:

OK, here are the Heat's problem children:

Zo is 37 (needs to retire)
Payton is 39 (wayy past prime)
Toine is 30 (past prime)
EJ is 36 (sort of serviceable)
Doleac is 30 (hurt but serviceable)
J-Will is 31 (past prime)
Shaq is 35 (still serviceable)

Here are their not so problem children:

Wade
Haslem
Posey
Kapono
Simien (maybe)

Out of there "problem" children, who do you think will command the better prospects in a trade? Maybe they get better through free agency, but are there worthwhile players this year?

Obviously, I'd love to see Shaq traded again. If nothing else, i can go back to liking Wade:)

Da Realist:

you can't trade shaq after he helped bring in the title there. everyone else, except wade, is tradeable.

poor eddie jones. he either leaves a year too early or get there a year too late.

Gangsta D:

I hear you. I'm just saying what can you get for the rest of the guys? It's gonna be interesting to see how many teams are blown up this summer.

Da Realist:

no doubt pat the gm has his work cut out for him. but it ain't like we didn't see this coming. miami's win last year was a fluke. they got hot and detroit and dallas. good for them, but they were not a dynasty. no one thought they were. maybe even the weakest champions ever. if pat the gm was smart, he would have started over after last year. Read more!

Deng It!

Gangsta D:

This may shock a certain resident of Virginia, and avid Bulls fan. But I genuinely like the Bulls. And not because they're pistol whipping the Heat. I've liked them for a couple years now. They're athletic, can shoot, and have some of the better young players in the game. If they win the title, will I do backflips? Not likely. But I'll be OK with it.

The Lakers. What can I say. We got treated like that little girl that get hit by the train on Banned From TV. Changes must be made. Jerry buss can't be concerned about the luxury tax. If the team wins another title, he's coming out the other end smelling just fine. Garnett? Would be nice, but don't know how the salaries work. Jermaine O'Neal? Maybe, but he's unreliable. Smush is gone, or demoted at the very least. Mitch Kupchak's gotta earn his paycheck now. Maybe a blockbuster deal to get the #2 draft pick. That's something Jerry West would do, but I don't know if Mitch has the balls. Kobe's got 3-5 more peak years. After that, he becomes a very good complimentary player. Ughhh. I don't know....

Waldini:

Man that game was crazy too. Close at halftime, then Gordon/Deng aka class of '04 just wen bezerk in the 2nd half. I'm pulling for the Bulls too but not b/c of my disdain for the Heat. I like Hinrich and Gordon. But for whatever reason when it comes to the playoffs, they just falter. Let's hope they put it 2gether this postseason and advance

Lakers - no comment. Series is over...start the rebuild

Nets-Raps - Big 3 aint laying down like that again

Da Realist:

the heat are done. let's all give a round of applause for their short year as nba champions. now if somebody can knock off the pistons... i don't want another pistons loss on my record.

i don't know what to tell you about the lakers. what you really need is something that's going to take a while to get. you need a star, a 2nd banana and a utility player. you have the star (kobe) and the utility player (odom), but no 2nd banana. any 2nd banana you could get would cost you odom (and possibly more). and you need all 3 to win a title.

a utility player can be one person if he's good enough (robert parish, james worthy, horace grant) or a combination of good players (robert horry/rick fox, sam cassell/mario elie, dennis rodman/vinnie johnson).

jermaine o'neal is a good starting point, but you'll probably have to give up odom and bynum then start to accumulate the other piece or pieces. this will take time. will kobe still be in his prime or just off it?

if you could get garnett and convert him to a "david robinson" type player, that would be a good start too.

Waldini:

Dont'chu feel like this decade is starting to mirror the 70s. Dominant teams at the beginning (Knicks/Celtics/Lakers vs Spurs/Lakers) then a bunch one trick ponies at the end (Warriors/Sonics/Bullets/Blazers vs Pistons/Heat/?)? If either phx or Dal wins it this yr, it will be official. We are moving back to the one and done deals.

Funny when the Pistons one, everyone jumped on the "team play is back" bandwagon, yet they have one title to show for all their efforts

Gangsta D:

For all we know, the cavs could win it all. Nobody is safe and everybody has a shot. Read more!