20 Questions - South Cack Style

I thought I'd give the readers or reader, if you will, a little more insight into the guys writing on this here contraption. Up first is The Great Waldini. Waldini is the first roommate I had in college, a die hard Laker fan, and a lunatic when it comes to Bojangles chicken. I asked him 20 asinine questions. Here are his more intelligent answers.

1. Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?

Waldini: Alba...Dark Angel and Sin City made me a believer


2. Would you let Kwame Brown kick you in the groin as hard as he could if it meant never having to pay taxes of any kind for the rest of your life?

Waldini: Yes if I could still reproduce and get some. No if I permanently lose that ability


3. If you could smack one college professor in the face, who would it be? Why?

Waldini: Dr Olubammo from my Abstract Class. She give the easiest homework questions and then the test be the questions that had the stars next to them in the book, which signaled they were hard. DR Jones from Com Sci is a close second for being so damn philosophical.


4. Is Jack Bauer your personal Lord and Savior?

Waldini: Not at all


5. UT and Auburn are undefeated and playing in the SEC title game for the right to play in the BCS title game. The game starts at 3:30. At 3:10, the tv in the living room blows out. All other tv’s are being used by the wife and kids and they’re not budging for nothing. You live 5 miles from Wal-Mart, 20 minutes from the nearest sports bar, and you’re neighbors are assholes. What do you do?

Waldini: My kids will be budging.


6. Why do we get ON a plane, but get IN a car?

Waldini: B/c it’s America that’s why. We don’t have to explain the stupid things we say and do


7. Sasha Vujacic vs Jordan Farmar in a fight. Who you got?

Waldini: Sasha. You’ve seen 24, he’s worked for Fayed which makes him an animal


8. Best Eddie Murphy movie of all time?

Waldini: Coming to America, hands down. The royal penis is clean scene should be your precursor


9. Let’s just say, for shits and giggles, that for the 2007-2008 season the following takes place:

Xavier Lee wins the Heisman as the Seminoles with the nat’l title.
The Bears finish with the best record in the NFL and win the Super Bowl.
Luol Deng wins the MVP and the Bulls win the Finals.

Could you remain friends with Realist?

Waldini: Hard but yes. I would just ignore reading his emails, text messages and answering my phone when he called for a month


10. Would you watch a spinoff that focused on Snoop and Omar?

Waldini: Gay Riders Anonymous?? Sadly, the Wire fiend in me would watch on GP


11. Which would you cherish more? A handshake from Kobe or a kiss (on the cheek) from Halle Berry?

Waldini: Shit Halle B. Never will I be star struck by any dude. A kiss from Catwoman, OOH BBAAYBEEE


12. If Jeff Fisher had an Imus moment, would you forgive him?

Waldini: Um…not…sure. Lets say no


13. If you owned a catering company, would you sell your services to a porn production company? Would the type of porn make a difference?

Waldini: If you got cash, you my business. No, b/c I would send someone else in place to drop off the order, lol


14. One sporting event you would (theoretically) give up your kid to attend?

Waldini: NBA Finals


15. When is the last time you think Billy Packer got some?

Waldini: 1975, right before he started calling CBS games


16. Would you have let Gus Johnson do the play by play on TC’s birth?

Waldini: Hell yes!


17. On the whole, who do black people love more? Pacino or Bobby Brown?

Waldini: I don’t remember seeing Bobby’s poster on the wall in any of the MTV Crib shows. Pacino


18. Who knocked back more chicks in their heyday? Magic or Jordan? BE HONEST!!

Waldini: Magic…didn’t you see his interviews!


19. Would you rather be able to fly a plane or do card tricks? Why?

Waldini: Card tricks. I play cards more frequently than I fly


20. If Pacman had James Evans as a father, would he have turned out the same way?

Waldini: No he woulda been beat like Michael’s lil friend got beat for being a bad ass