Thursday, August 30, 2007

Hatred Redux

In honor of the return of college football, I though I'd repost a piece I wrote while pinch hitting for The Big Lead in April. It's a testament to my hatred of Notre Dame. For some reason, I got supremely hated on for a post that wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I thought Notre Dame fans would have a sense of humor. I was just a tad wrong. Anyway, here's the post in all it's vitriolic glory.

I hate Notre Dame.

I hate Brady Quinn and his wanna be a pinup body.

I hate his campaigning for the #1 pick, like going 0-3 in bowls and shitting your pants when faced by a real pass rush qualifies you for a guaranteed $25 million.

I hate Charlie Weis because HE’S FUCKING CHARLIE WEIS.

I hate Jimmy “Jehova” Clausen and his ridiculous stick-your-finger-in-a-socket haircut.

I hate that he will bang more chicks this fall semester than I have in the past 3 years.

I hate that Notre Dame had a black mascot. When the fuck have you ever seen a black leprechaun?

I hate that Lou Holtz went apeshit on a kid during the spring football game.

I hate that Lou Holtz gets paid to talk.

I hate the phrase “Wake up the echoes.” How the fuck do you awaken an echo?

I hate that they’ve lost six games the past two years, but everyone considers Tweedledum to be a genius because they didn’t lose eight.

I hate that I hate Notre Dame so much.

I hate that I wrote that last sentence, because it’s not true and I was only trying to come off less asshole-ish.

OK, I feel better. I just have to release some ND hate every now and then. Nothing personal.

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