Tuesday, March 04, 2008

"He Is I, And I Am Him"

Gangsta D:

I've been playing ball at the rec 3-4 times a week since January, and I finally figured out which NBA player I am.

I'm not very athletic. I can't outjump anyone unless I'm 6" taller than them. My foot speed leaves a lot to be desired, which means my perimeter defense is sorely lacking. I can play decent position until my man decides to blow past me, then I'm stuck like cement. However, I do play pretty decent post defense. I'm almost 6'4"/240 so I can body up dudes on the block. On the plus side, I have great court vision. I can see plays develop before most dudes on the court. My passing ability is superb, from the perimeter and especially on the interior. I have great "intangibles." I'm a smart and heady player that sets picks, gets the occasional tough rebound and putback, along with a steal here and there. I would be a 9/5/3/1 guy in the NBA. So who am I?

That's right. I'm the Black Luke Walton. Think Bill would like to adpot me? The major difference between us is my outside shot is much better. I'm streaky, but when I get wet from deep, it can get ugly.

I think I'm the first black person to voluntarily compare himself to a white NBA player. I think I'm breaking new ground here. Wonder if this is how Jackie Robinson feels.

Who do you guys resemble?

Da Realist:

I can run a team but I'm more shooting guard than point guard. I had an excellent jump shot and I played pretty good defense. I was quick, but had trouble when being defended by much taller guards. I was a heady player and could add intangibles and clutch shooting to justify my presence on the court.

I'm B.J. armstrong.


I am better at defense than on offense. I can drive to the basket and finish with either hand. My passing abilities are decent. I'm a streak shooter so if I'm cold, I'm really cold and if I'm hot, then I'm en fuego. I won't do anything on the court that will make you go 'wow' but I'm fundamentally sound. Some days I look I like belong out there and other days I basically make the game 4 on 5.

I'm Rajan Rondo

Gangsta D:

So right now, we have BJ and Rondo in the backcourt with Walton at the 3. We need a PF that can hit the 17 ft jumper and play defense and a Center that can command a double team. If I were a little more athletic, we could be dangerous:)


stopmikelupica said...

Hmm... interesting exercise. When I was in my heyday, I was 6'2, 190 lbs. I could grab rim, and had a real quick second jump (but no hang time), meaning I was tough to keep off the boards (I could keep tipping it), and a real good shot blocker. Of course, if you could hang... one of my friends had about the same ability to grab rim that I had, but he could stay in the air much longer than me, so he could do a pump fake and get his shot off over me. And my defense otherwise was pretty weak.

I had no jumper, outside of the paint, for a long time. Then I got better at it, and got some range. I could hit free throws decently. I throw up all kinds of nasty hooks and runners near the basket. I am an awkward lefty.

F*ck me, I'm Zach Randolph, ain't I?

Oh god no. That's the most depressing observation of the day. I really feel like hitting the courts and re-starting my basketball "career", if for no other reason than to reinvent myself as someone else...

Gangsta D said...

Damn, that is pretty depressing. Didn't mean to bring you down like that. Maybe you can cocentrate on being a lockdown defender? lol

Edwardo said...

Hmm...I think I'm schizophrenic. I have the tenacious, I don't-give-a-what D of '90s Gary Payton with the unconscious outside shooting of J.J. Redick at Duke. Yet I will bull my way into the lane with the best of them and won't hesitate to foul your ass if it means saving a bucket. I'm not afraid to pass but my natural role is as a 2-guard as me likey the 3. I think I'm either Ben Gordon or Manu Ginobili. Maybe more Manu as I love to go left.

Let the hating begin...lol