Hmmm. I have no idea if this is true, but LA Rag Mag is reporting that Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes. If this is true, Derek Jetah is the biggest douchebag in the history of douchebaggery. How he could sully the formally pure Jessica is beyond me. You wanna give herpes to Mariah, Vanessa Minnilo, or Jessica Biel? Fine, but not Ms. Alba. You are pond scum Mr. Jeter.
Of course, I can no longer refer to him as Derek. This news calls for a "Herpes alias" renaming. Invoking the spirit of Ron Mexico, I now dub you "Ricky Bolivia". Suck on that you dirty dick bastard.
Hat tip (TBL)
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