Only Your Hatred Can Destroy Me!!!

We have a guest star for this post, the incomparable G-Nice.

Gangsta D:

Once Kobe leaves the Lakers, will you continue to hate on the Lake Show?

If he goes to the Bulls and leads them to a title, will you be celebratory?

Da Realist:

My hate will follow KobeBeanBryant everywhere he goes. I can only pray he lands in dallas or somewhere else instead of chicago. And he won't lead the bulls to the title so I won't have to worry about the last question.

Gangsta D:

Such cynicism is unbecoming. Really, it is....

Da Realist:

Please. Kobe will memorize a few jordan records (most points scored in Milwaukee, highest avg of steals on tuesday night games that start at 8:15pm, most 3-pointers in the third quarter against Charlotte) and maybe even break a few but he won't 'lead' anyone to anything. And despite what he says, he'll be completely happy doing just that.

Gangsta D:

You'd openly root against the Bulls whenever he was on the floor, wouldn't you?

Da Realist:

I would openly root against the bulls just for signing him, whether he's on the floor or not.

high-stakes gamble?

Gangsta D:

My God, you are bitter:)

G-Nice:

I assume D added me to this so that I get mad as well.

[Realist], I don't know you, but I too am a Chicago fan. And I would hate Pax forever if he makes this deal. And I don't think we're alone. Most of Chicago would have difficulty with Kobe on the bulls. I'm not stupid, Bulls fans want to win, and Kobe's a great scorer, so people would be down over time. But Kobe is also the anti-Jordan, and I think, like you and I are both saying, people would have trouble with that. In
fact, I told this guy just a few days ago that if Kobe were traded to the Bulls, I might have to stop watching the NBA all together until he retires. I can't do it. I hate that fool so much.

I live in LA, so I hear all the details on the radio all day. No other way to cut it, Kobe's the biggest bitch on the planet. And what's kind of nice is that all the writers the protected him and loved him through the rape trial and the Shaq divorces are tired of his baby antics. I don't want him on the bulls, but I really don't want him anywhere else but the Lakers. He asked for this. He needs to own it.

Da Realist:

I couldn't have said it better myself. D, as common said, one day it'll all make sense.

Gangsta D:

You guys. Your hate is so strong. If Kobe gets traded to the Bulls, it will screw the Lakers six ways to Sunday. But I would take solace in seeing both of you seethe with hate as Kobe, wearing #24, take the court as a Bull. That wouldn't offset the disaster that awaits the Lakers. But at least both of you would be miserable along with me:)

G-Nice:

I would not be miserable with you. I would be way ahead of you. I can't even being to picture what that would look like. Kobe in a bulls uniform. That's like the Red Skull in Captain America gear. Puffy on a Slum village record. Alan Keyes in a Spike Lee joint.

Seriously, just talking about the possibilities depresses me. I don't want Kobe on my team. I really don't. He's such a punk. It's exactly the opposite of what that team, and really the city, is all about. I may cry.

Gangsta D:

You guys have no idea the amount of entertainment you're providing me right now:)

G-Nice:

[That is]Hands down, the most unattractive picture ever.

Da Realist:

Even I was surprised at the amount of bile that picture conjured up. If KobeBean becomes a Chicago Bull, I would have to seriously question what I have done wrong in this world.

G-Nice:

We have to stop talking about this. I'm getting all worked up at the thought. It makes me think I'm Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky where he runs through time square and nobody's there. He's all alone and confused and it's clear that his world no longer makes sense. That would be me. Alone, confused, and longing to be with Penelope. Kobe can't come to Chicago. I don't want to be that guy.

And at this point, D, how can you justify liking him anymore? The guy's the greatest advertisement for mefirst.com. He doesn't care about nobody. Even in his interviews, he's so smug. How do you still like him? You should be arrested.

Gangsta D:

For me, the team is bigger than the man. As long as Kobe is on the Lakers, I'm riding with him. I didn't like Shaq in Orlando, but as soon as he signed with the Lakers, he was my favorite. I was a Laker fan before Kobe, and will be one after him. But as long as he's on the team, that's my dude.