20 Questions - Bangin' In Little Rock Style

Ahh, Da Realist. What can I say about this dude? We agree on three things: the sky is blue, water is wet, and Shaq is fat. That's pretty much it. We usually spend all day at odds over any number of topics. He hates Kobe. He's an FSU fan. He didn't like the last season of The Wire. As you can see, he has very few redeemable qualities. But, he is my boy. He's passionate about his sports teams. And he can argue a pretty good game. I guess he's all right, after all. I asked him 20 asinine questions. Here are his more intelligent answers.

1. Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?

Da Realist: Not even a question – Jessica Alba


2. Would you let Ben Wallace kick you in the groin as hard as he could if it meant never having to pay taxes of any kind for the rest of your life?

Da Realist: No


3. If you could smack one college professor in the face, who would it be? Why?

Da Realist: Can't think of anyone


4. Is Stringer Bell your personal Lord and Savior?

Da Realist: No


5. Miami and FSU are undefeated and playing in the ACC title game for the right to play in the BCS title game. The game starts at 3:30. At 3:10, the tv in the living room blows out. All other tv’s are being used by the women of the house and they’re not budging for nothing. You live 5 miles from Wal-Mart, 20 minutes from the nearest sports bar, and you’re neighbors are assholes. What do you do?

Da Realist: Every TV in the house will be turned to the game just in case I need to go from one room to the other. In fact, our desktop AND our Tivo will be recording this game so that I can be sure burn Miami’s beat-down on disk and send it to you the next morning.


6. Why do we get ON a plane, but get IN a car?

Da Realist: Funny


7. Ben Gordon vs Chris Duhon in a fight. Who you got?

Da Realist: Ben. This ain’t even close.


8. Best Eddie Murphy movie of all time?

Da Realist: Beverly Hills Cop (but close runners up are Trading Places and Boomerang)

9. Let’s just say, for shits and giggles, that for the 2007-2008 season the following takes place:

Kyle Wright wins the Heisman as the 'Canes win the National Title
The Cowboys finish with the best record in the league and win the Super Bowl
Kobe wins the MVP and the Lakers win the Finals

Colud we remain friends?

Da Realist: No


10. Would you watch a spin-off that focused on Snoop and Omar?

Da Realist: If it made sense


11. Which would you cherish more? A handshake from Jordan or a kiss (on the cheek) from Halle Berry?

Da Realist: Kiss from Halle


12. If Bobby Bowden had an Imus moment, would you forgive him?

Da Realist: Yes, but I forgive Imus as well


13. If you owned a catering company, would you sell your services to a porn production company? Would the type of porn make a difference?

Da Realist: Yes. No.


14. One sporting event you would (theoretically) give up your kid to attend?

Da Realist: Wimbledon


15. When is the last time you think Billy Packer got some?

Da Realist: Within the last month


16. Would you have let Gus Johnson do the play by play on Amber’s birth?

Da Realist: No


17. On the whole, who do black people love more? Pacino or Bobby Brown?

Da Realist: Pacino


18. Who knocked back more chicks? Magic or Jordan? BE HONEST!!

Da Realist: Jordan...only because Magic slowed down after 1992


19. Would you rather be able to fly a plane or do card tricks? Why?

Da Realist: Fly a plane. I don't play cards


20. If Ron Artest had James Evans as a father, would he have turned out the same way?

Da Realist: No way Read more!

I'm The Most Dominant Ever....To Be Traded To The Suns?

Gangsta D:

If you're an NBA MG, would you trade for Shaq this offseason?

Da Realist:

slice. add salt. repeat.

leave the man alone. remember -- he still has one-up on your boy kob.

to answer your question...no. i would make him focus solely on rebounding like an old moses malone when he played for the hawks. he can still be effective without such a scoring load. it's the OTHERS that need to be dealt with.

Gangsta D:

OK, here are the Heat's problem children:

Zo is 37 (needs to retire)
Payton is 39 (wayy past prime)
Toine is 30 (past prime)
EJ is 36 (sort of serviceable)
Doleac is 30 (hurt but serviceable)
J-Will is 31 (past prime)
Shaq is 35 (still serviceable)

Here are their not so problem children:

Wade
Haslem
Posey
Kapono
Simien (maybe)

Out of there "problem" children, who do you think will command the better prospects in a trade? Maybe they get better through free agency, but are there worthwhile players this year?

Obviously, I'd love to see Shaq traded again. If nothing else, i can go back to liking Wade:)

Da Realist:

you can't trade shaq after he helped bring in the title there. everyone else, except wade, is tradeable.

poor eddie jones. he either leaves a year too early or get there a year too late.

Gangsta D:

I hear you. I'm just saying what can you get for the rest of the guys? It's gonna be interesting to see how many teams are blown up this summer.

Da Realist:

no doubt pat the gm has his work cut out for him. but it ain't like we didn't see this coming. miami's win last year was a fluke. they got hot and detroit and dallas. good for them, but they were not a dynasty. no one thought they were. maybe even the weakest champions ever. if pat the gm was smart, he would have started over after last year. Read more!

You Close Or You Hit The Bricks!

Gangsta D:

Before the playoffs started I said the Warriors reminded me of the Lakers last year. Well, here we are. They're up 3-1 going back to Dallas. Do they have enough to win 1 out of the next 3 games? The crowd was acting like they won the series, but it ain't over yet. I know that better than anyone:) If they come out hungry and focused, they can close it out in 5. If they lose game 5, then the Mavs will win the series. You can't give a good team any room to breathe. Look at the Bulls.

Speaking of which, I guess we should congratulate Realist on his 1st series win since graduation! A double thanks for eliminating the Heat in 4:)

Da Realist:

a backhanded congratulations if i ever heard one...but i'll take it!

i think the warriors could lose game 5 and still conceivably win game 6 at home. but they have to win it there. similar to this quote -- "the titanic was built to withstand water in 4 compartments, not five...not five."

this series is built for the warriors to win in six games, not seven....not seven.

Gangsta D:

On the face of it, maybe it seems like they can recover. But they only have one player that's gone deep in the playoffs, and you CAN'T count on Stephen Jackson for stability in a pinch:) I'll put it like this, if they lose by double digits in game 5, then they'll lose the seires. If it's a close loss, they may have chance.

Da Realist:

if there was ever a game for dallas to breathe fire and win by 20, game 5 is it. everybody is going to make shots, the crowd will be nuts, and the refs will probably favor the home team a bit. i'd be surprised if GS wins this game. in fact, i'll be surprised if GS comes within 10 points.

not to say they shouldn't try, but if they are smart they wouldn't get too bent out of shape over game 5. dallas will have everything working for them. i think it's make or break for GS in game 6.

if GS somehow someway wins game 5, dirk can forget about the MVP award -- even if it is a regular season award. and wouldn't dallas now become the biggest joke in nba history? 67 wins? and you flop in the first round? if this was best of 5, dallas would have already lost.

Gangsta D:

I don't know. Aren't the votes already tabulated? It would be hilarious for him to get his trophy at a press conference instead before a game. Would you even show up? And yes, that would make the Mavs the biggest flops in NBA history. The '94 Sonics weren't nearly this heralded. Read more!

Old School Friday - Liquid Swords Edition

12th grade. Rae and Ghost. Gladys Night sample. The kid on the bike. Just a classic song and video.

Read more!

I'm Going To The 6th Floor And Dropping You Off At The 5th

Waldini tried to pull my card and see if I could find the following videos. Well I got them punk! Whatcha got to say 'bout that!

Shaq bitch slaps David Robinson. I've got no love loss for Shaq, but this is filthy:



Chris Webber becomes Barkley's hero:



It's OK Ben. Kobe's dunked on EVERYONE:



Eddie Jones is but one of the many who have abused Shawn Bradley:



Pau Gasol teaches KG how to say "Open wide" in Spanish:



KG meet Boom Dizzle:



Amare makes the Kandi man hold onto his pants pocket:

Read more!

How Did We Miss These?

Waldini:

- Nadal beating Federer AGAIN on clay (Monte Carlo Finals). WHo thinks Rog overcomes this and wins the French?

- The NBA's coaching carousel going on...Carlisle, Musselman, and Hill all served their walking papers in the past 72 hrs

- Tony Stewart "speaking" his mind about the current state of NASCAR (cartoonish, pro wrestling come to mind). Personally, that;s the only reason I even started paying attention to NASCAR cuz it seemed like after every race, cats were duking it out

- the NY Rangers hockey player basically saying he was gonna lay out someone on the Sabres squad Non Sports topics

- McCain officially announcing his candidacy. Despite my disdain for the majority of the candidates, this is turning into one of the biggest turnouts ala drafts for presidency. Guiliani, McCain, Obama, Clinton all have thrown their names in....summer 2007 is gonna be huge

- Alec Baldwin asking out of his NBC contract (rumors right now). If it's true, it would certainly mean 30 Rock is a goner midway next season Sorry a lot is really going on

Gangsta D:

Nadal owns Federer on clay. Just no getting around it. Dude has found his kryptonite. Apparently he's human after all.

I can't believe Bird fired his boy. Carlisle is a decent coach, but his teams historically underachieve in the playoffs. And for the past couple of years, they've been mediocre. I'm sure everyone wants to blame it on Artest, but he's been gone for a year and a half and they still suck. I wonder how many college coaches will get a look.

Baldwin CANNOT leave 30 Rock!

Da Realist:

i still wouldn't be surprised if federer wins the french. stranger things have happened. this might have reduced some of the pressure because NOBODY thinks he has a chance.

i was surprised carlisle got axed too.

Gangsta D:

I'm surprised Bird fired him, but I'm not surprised he got fired. It's funny how much criticsm he'd escaped in the past couple of years. Even after getting rid of their malcontents, they still tanked. So do you think Larry Brown will come back, or is he headed to memphis?

Waldini:

I think he should stay away...If I'm the grizz, i dont want him b/c you know he's gonna bail in 3 yrs max if the team does well and 2 yrs if they do worse. And if they're doing bad, then the Ripper will revert to form and criticize everyone for lack of work ethic and coachability. Yo LB stick to producin! Read more!

Deng It!

Gangsta D:

This may shock a certain resident of Virginia, and avid Bulls fan. But I genuinely like the Bulls. And not because they're pistol whipping the Heat. I've liked them for a couple years now. They're athletic, can shoot, and have some of the better young players in the game. If they win the title, will I do backflips? Not likely. But I'll be OK with it.

The Lakers. What can I say. We got treated like that little girl that get hit by the train on Banned From TV. Changes must be made. Jerry buss can't be concerned about the luxury tax. If the team wins another title, he's coming out the other end smelling just fine. Garnett? Would be nice, but don't know how the salaries work. Jermaine O'Neal? Maybe, but he's unreliable. Smush is gone, or demoted at the very least. Mitch Kupchak's gotta earn his paycheck now. Maybe a blockbuster deal to get the #2 draft pick. That's something Jerry West would do, but I don't know if Mitch has the balls. Kobe's got 3-5 more peak years. After that, he becomes a very good complimentary player. Ughhh. I don't know....

Waldini:

Man that game was crazy too. Close at halftime, then Gordon/Deng aka class of '04 just wen bezerk in the 2nd half. I'm pulling for the Bulls too but not b/c of my disdain for the Heat. I like Hinrich and Gordon. But for whatever reason when it comes to the playoffs, they just falter. Let's hope they put it 2gether this postseason and advance

Lakers - no comment. Series is over...start the rebuild

Nets-Raps - Big 3 aint laying down like that again

Da Realist:

the heat are done. let's all give a round of applause for their short year as nba champions. now if somebody can knock off the pistons... i don't want another pistons loss on my record.

i don't know what to tell you about the lakers. what you really need is something that's going to take a while to get. you need a star, a 2nd banana and a utility player. you have the star (kobe) and the utility player (odom), but no 2nd banana. any 2nd banana you could get would cost you odom (and possibly more). and you need all 3 to win a title.

a utility player can be one person if he's good enough (robert parish, james worthy, horace grant) or a combination of good players (robert horry/rick fox, sam cassell/mario elie, dennis rodman/vinnie johnson).

jermaine o'neal is a good starting point, but you'll probably have to give up odom and bynum then start to accumulate the other piece or pieces. this will take time. will kobe still be in his prime or just off it?

if you could get garnett and convert him to a "david robinson" type player, that would be a good start too.

Waldini:

Dont'chu feel like this decade is starting to mirror the 70s. Dominant teams at the beginning (Knicks/Celtics/Lakers vs Spurs/Lakers) then a bunch one trick ponies at the end (Warriors/Sonics/Bullets/Blazers vs Pistons/Heat/?)? If either phx or Dal wins it this yr, it will be official. We are moving back to the one and done deals.

Funny when the Pistons one, everyone jumped on the "team play is back" bandwagon, yet they have one title to show for all their efforts

Gangsta D:

For all we know, the cavs could win it all. Nobody is safe and everybody has a shot. Read more!

20 Questions - The Ladylike Edition

We have a visitor to class today boys and girls. You know her as The Head Chick, or better yet the HCIC of Leave The Man Alone. Now even though the Head Chick is a cool customer, she does have a few issues. For one, she's a lawyer. Boo! Also, she thinks Dwayne Wade walks on water. Boo Squared! Of course, I wouldn't normally deign to associate with someone with such a pedigree, but she's a Hoya to the end and she likes T.O. So as you can see, it all kind of evens out. Plus, she's pretty damn funny. Anyhoo, I got a chance to ask her 20 asinine questions. Here are her more intelligent answers.

1. Dwyane Wade or TO?

HCIC: TO. Dwyane is the truth, but he seeems like he might be boring in person. TO probably is too, but he has a nice smile and a sweet southern accent.


2. Would you give sartorial advice to Whitlock for six months if it meant never having to pay taxes of any kind for the rest of your life?

HCIC: Yes, all urchins deserve an attempt at outreach.


3. If you could smack one college professor in the face, who would it be? Why?

HCIC: I went to a Jesuit institution. You can't smack priests.


4. When I was in school, a cow got loose on 75/85 during rush hour. If you hit the cow with your car, think you’d be able to keep the meat?

HCIC: Maybe. People would probably look at you funny when you loaded the meat in the back of the pick up. It might not be worth the trouble. Sure, you could take the cow. But do you have a butcher on speed dial? Who's cutting that sucker up?


5. The Falcons, by some miracle, are playing the Cowboys in the NFC Championship Game. The game starts at 3:30. At 3:10, the tv in the living room blows out. None of the other tv’s in the house are hooked up to satellite. You live 5 miles from Wal-Mart, 20 minutes from the nearest sports bar, and you’re neighbors are assholes. What do you do?

HCIC: Wow. This is a very stressful scenario, mainly b/c I would be thrust in the horrible position of choosing between my favorite player (TO) and my favorite team. I've already been through the trauma once. The Falcons won out, although I couldn't help but laugh everytime Terrell burned DeAngela Hall. But as for your question. I have to choose the sports bar. Do you know how long the lines are at Wal Mart? The drive might be 5 minutes, but it will take an hour to get out of there. Plus sports bars have draft beer. Tasty.


6. Why do we get ON a plane, but get IN a car?

HCIC: Who knows? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that planes were primarily open air transports.


7. Michael Irvin vs Tom Jackson in a fight. Who you got?

HCIC: Irvin. He probably carries a knife in that windsor knot.


8. At their comedic peak, who was funnier? Eddie Murphy or Chris Rock?

HCIC: Eddie Murphy. Chris Rock is cool, but he coasts on his funny voice. If he told those jokes in a regular voice, how much would you laugh?


9. If the Thrashers won the Stanley Cup, would anyone in ATL know?

HCIC: What are the Thrashers?


10. Would you rather watch a DeAngelo Hall reality show or one based on Joey Harrington?

HCIC: Harrington. How riveting would it be to watch DeAngela stare at himself in the mirror 16 hours a day? Joey's beauty is natural.


11. Which would you cherish more? Free gas for a year or a free in-house gourmet chef for a year?

HCIC: Free gas. I can throw down in the kitchen on my own, thank you very much.


12. Who would have the funniest apeshit rant on live tv:

Joe Buck
Tony Kornheiser
Woody Page
Stephen A
Mike Ditka

HCIC: Joe Buck. He would turn as red as his pouty lips! His would be the best b/c it would be the most unexpected. The rest of those guys...You already know they're one spark away from an explosion.


13. If you owned a catering company, would you sell your services to a porn production company? Would the type of porn make a difference?

HCIC: Without hesitation. No, the type of porn wouldn't matter as long as it was limited to humans. But no granny or fatty porn.


14. One sporting event you would (theoretically) give up your kid to attend?

HCIC: Right now, I'd like to see Barry break the record in AT&T Park.


15. When is the last time you think Billy Packer got some?

HCIC: I choose not to think of Billy Packer in that way.


16. Would you let Marv Albert do the play by play on your child’s birth?

HCIC: Yes, he would be enthusiastic, supportive and insightful.


17. Who has more street cred? Vitale or Lee Corso?

HCIC: Corso. You know bitches are always trying to get at Herbstreit. Lee is getting love in the streets.


18. Who knocked back more chicks? Magic or Jordan?

HCIC: Probably Jordan. Cause you know you have to subtract the dudes from Magic's total.


19. Would you rather be able to fly a plane or do card tricks? Why?

HCIC: Fly a plane. Card tricks are corny.


20. If Ron Artest had James Evans as a father, would he have turned out the same way?

HCIC: Well... Look at JJ. He's no prize. Read more!

I'm The #1 Stunna!

Gangsta D:

Now that Oden has officially declared for the draft, is he the consensus #1 pick no matter who gets the first pick? The teams with the best chances are: The Grizz, The C's, The Bucks, and The Hawks. Do you pick Oden no matter what or do you pick Durant or do you trade down (no!!!)? I think Durant can come in and average 18-20 from the first night on. If I'm a borderline playoff team, I'm looking at Durant. Oden has the potential to be a more valuable player in 2-4 years. In that time period, you're talking about a title not just playoff contention. But can you live with the growing pains in the interim. Nobody wants to make the Sam Bowie mistake, but if Durant fits your team needs better, shouldn't you draft him?

Waldini:

He is the #1 pick hands down. He has been built as the best big man since Duncan. It makes it hard for any team to pass on the best big man prospect in 10 yrs. They dont want to be the team that is remembered as passing on him. Durant is a great consolation prize :-)

Speaking of the draft, do you know how sick Memphis would be if they had a frontline of Gasol and Oden? Great offense now has a defense counterpart to clean up the other's mistakes. Shoot if the Bucks got him, it would be crazy.

Anyway, they say this is the best draft class since 2003 so let's peep game...everybody coming out this year

Gangsta D:

I realize all that, but here's the thing. The only player Oden faced this year with comparable size and/or skills is Roy Hibbert. Hibbert worked Oden for the 5 minutes they played against each other. Oden got his a few times, but at best it was a stalemate. What is Oden going to do against Shaq, Yao, Dwight Howard, or Duncan? He has tremedous upside potential, but do we know that he will realize that potential. Durant on the other hand is a perimeter player that can come off screens, excel in the transition game, already has NBA range, and can back down smaller opponenets. Of course he weighs 20 pounds so will get muscled some, but he's not going to be banging down low for the entire game. I'm not hating on Oden, I'm just saying we don't know if he's gonna be Bill Russell or just look like Bill's uncle. Read more!

Old School Friday - Sugar Dimes Edition

Ten years later and I still don't know what the fuck these guys are saying half the time. Nevertheless, the album is classic and this song got heavy rotation my junior year in college.

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20 Questions - South Cack Style

I thought I'd give the readers or reader, if you will, a little more insight into the guys writing on this here contraption. Up first is The Great Waldini. Waldini is the first roommate I had in college, a die hard Laker fan, and a lunatic when it comes to Bojangles chicken. I asked him 20 asinine questions. Here are his more intelligent answers.

1. Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?

Waldini: Alba...Dark Angel and Sin City made me a believer


2. Would you let Kwame Brown kick you in the groin as hard as he could if it meant never having to pay taxes of any kind for the rest of your life?

Waldini: Yes if I could still reproduce and get some. No if I permanently lose that ability


3. If you could smack one college professor in the face, who would it be? Why?

Waldini: Dr Olubammo from my Abstract Class. She give the easiest homework questions and then the test be the questions that had the stars next to them in the book, which signaled they were hard. DR Jones from Com Sci is a close second for being so damn philosophical.


4. Is Jack Bauer your personal Lord and Savior?

Waldini: Not at all


5. UT and Auburn are undefeated and playing in the SEC title game for the right to play in the BCS title game. The game starts at 3:30. At 3:10, the tv in the living room blows out. All other tv’s are being used by the wife and kids and they’re not budging for nothing. You live 5 miles from Wal-Mart, 20 minutes from the nearest sports bar, and you’re neighbors are assholes. What do you do?

Waldini: My kids will be budging.


6. Why do we get ON a plane, but get IN a car?

Waldini: B/c it’s America that’s why. We don’t have to explain the stupid things we say and do


7. Sasha Vujacic vs Jordan Farmar in a fight. Who you got?

Waldini: Sasha. You’ve seen 24, he’s worked for Fayed which makes him an animal


8. Best Eddie Murphy movie of all time?

Waldini: Coming to America, hands down. The royal penis is clean scene should be your precursor


9. Let’s just say, for shits and giggles, that for the 2007-2008 season the following takes place:

Xavier Lee wins the Heisman as the Seminoles with the nat’l title.
The Bears finish with the best record in the NFL and win the Super Bowl.
Luol Deng wins the MVP and the Bulls win the Finals.

Could you remain friends with Realist?

Waldini: Hard but yes. I would just ignore reading his emails, text messages and answering my phone when he called for a month


10. Would you watch a spinoff that focused on Snoop and Omar?

Waldini: Gay Riders Anonymous?? Sadly, the Wire fiend in me would watch on GP


11. Which would you cherish more? A handshake from Kobe or a kiss (on the cheek) from Halle Berry?

Waldini: Shit Halle B. Never will I be star struck by any dude. A kiss from Catwoman, OOH BBAAYBEEE


12. If Jeff Fisher had an Imus moment, would you forgive him?

Waldini: Um…not…sure. Lets say no


13. If you owned a catering company, would you sell your services to a porn production company? Would the type of porn make a difference?

Waldini: If you got cash, you my business. No, b/c I would send someone else in place to drop off the order, lol


14. One sporting event you would (theoretically) give up your kid to attend?

Waldini: NBA Finals


15. When is the last time you think Billy Packer got some?

Waldini: 1975, right before he started calling CBS games


16. Would you have let Gus Johnson do the play by play on TC’s birth?

Waldini: Hell yes!


17. On the whole, who do black people love more? Pacino or Bobby Brown?

Waldini: I don’t remember seeing Bobby’s poster on the wall in any of the MTV Crib shows. Pacino


18. Who knocked back more chicks in their heyday? Magic or Jordan? BE HONEST!!

Waldini: Magic…didn’t you see his interviews!


19. Would you rather be able to fly a plane or do card tricks? Why?

Waldini: Card tricks. I play cards more frequently than I fly


20. If Pacman had James Evans as a father, would he have turned out the same way?

Waldini: No he woulda been beat like Michael’s lil friend got beat for being a bad ass

Read more!

Jordan, Starks, and Pip's Nuts in Ewing's Mouth

John Boy:



His Airness



Da Realist:

ok. real talk. putting all biases aside, which is the most impressive dunk? and why? take everything into account.

you already know where I stand. ive been watching jordan a long time and even I forgot how explosive he was. But I can see someone liking starks too. what do
you think?

Gangsta D:

Thought about it. Can't pick.

Starks dunk meant more because it moved the Knicks into a 2-0 series lead. i have no idea when Jordan's dunk took place in the context of the game. Starks gets credit for going left hand. Jordan gets credit for the spin. Jordan dunked directly on Ewing. Both Grant and jordan were indirectly dunked on. That's honest, cause you know I have NO problem criticizing Jordan:)

Da Realist:

that's fair. jordan's dunk happened in 1991 -- game 3 of the first round when chicago was already up 2 game to none.

jordan's spin was nice, but it was the explosiveness that i like. he basically comes off a stand-still and jumps up and throws it down on 7-1 ewing.

starks dunk meant more. and jordan was involved. and it was left-handed. but he had a running start.

that's just my opinion.

Waldini:

I say Starks b/c it gave me more goosebumps when I watch it. From when he crossed up BJ to him coming down from the right but dunking with his left and the frenzy it sent the crowd and announcers into, classic.

On a side note, I take KJ's dunk over Dream in the 94 playoffs over both of the ones mentioned. Anytime a lil guy goes baseline like that over a premier defender/future HOF, you take notice. And throw in KJ flexing after the fact. It will always be one of my favorite dunks



And on another side note, Realist, what about Scottie's dunk over Patrick in the 94 playoffs. I love that one b/c I was pulling for the Bulls to win since everyone was on the Knicks bandwagon. The part I loved was him standing over Patrick for a few seconds with a stare that said, yea I got you tric. Love it.

Read more!

I'm Red The Fuck Hot....Pricks

The best video I've seen in ages. Definitely the best "rap" video in ages. The Red Hots' ghetto pass has been upgraded to lifetime status.

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Time To Call A Cab Sir, Cause You Are Done!

Da Realist:

from this article

After the game, after the TV cameras had left, and a few reporters still hung around him, Jackson said he expected to make the playoffs.

"I still think we're going to end up with the Suns in the playoffs," he said. "That's my own predilection. That all being said and done, we have to right ourselves and find a way to play basketball games together."

The Suns, who received 26 points and 14 assists from Steve Nash, didn't seem too concerned about playing the Lakers in the first round, if that were the case.

"I don't think it would go seven," Suns center Amare Stoudemire told reporters in Phoenix a day before the game. "I think we would take care of them pretty quick, hopefully, if everything goes as planned."

Waldini:

you'll get no argument from me :-)

Gangsta D:

Me either. Like Snoop said, "If the truth hurts, go to church."

Why does Agent Kujan continually try to get a rise out of us yo? lol

Waldini:

Like I told Realist back when we were in college, there are fans who pick with their brains and fans with pick with their hearts. If I was the latter, I pick the Lakers in 7 with Kobe hitting the game winner in OT.

But I'm not :-). You go 14-26 since Jan, including a recent stretch where you have lost 7 of 8. Add in Kobe scoring 50 plus 4 straight games against inferior comp just to win close games and you know the signs aren't good. This team has no confidence and a few players dont even believe in the Zen anymore.

Da Realist:

here's the thing. you could beat phoenix. if you rebound and play defense like you did in the fourth quarter for the entire game, it could happen. in '89, chicago lost all 6 games to cleveland in the regular season and beat them in the first round.

i'm surprised you two overly optimistic laker fans are finally a little pessimistic.

Gangsta D:

We're not pessimistic, we're realistic. You show optimism when you've been given a reason. I mean the Lakers COULD beat Phoenix. I COULD become the next great action star. It's possible because physics allows it. Yet both are highly unlikely. If we'd won 6 out of 8 down the stretch, something like that, I'd be optimistic. But I have NO reason to be. Of course we have to actually MAKE the playoffs first. Read more!

Old School Friday - West Coastin Edition

Snoop. D-R-E. One of the greatest diss songs ever. I can't believe this came out 14 years ago. I feel like I should be reaching for my cane.

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Jesus! Are We Whitlocking Again?!?!

Da Realist:

screw y'all. i like whitlock. :-)

Gangsta D:

The problem I have with Whitlock is that he doesn't seem to care about solving problems or reaching the true underlying issues. He mentions "black owned radio stations." Umm maybe you heard of Clear Channel. Not black owned. The reason the music he detests so much is broadcasted is because the rich white men that own the radio stations, record companies, and distribution channels know that white and black people alike will buy the sh*t out of it. We all know of "positive" rap artists that don't get their fair shake on radio or on MTV. Why? Because that doesn't sell. I didn't read the entire article. Does he address this in any way?

Da Realist:

not really. and the overall topic might be a little too expansive to dissect in an online column. but i totally agree with him on our jesse jackson and al sharpton. total blowhards who wait until there's some "crisis" then gather all the cameras so they can "stage" some march, sit-down, or whatever. i just want them to sit down.

Gangsta D:

The only problem I have with that is that it becomes the story. We know that as soon as some sh*t pops off, jesse and Al are going to jump in. To me, they are marginalized. They don't speak for me, and I don't remember electing them as my leader. But the tide turns and people start focusing on them instead of the issue at hand.

Da Realist:

exactly. but they get enough support from grandmothers and unemployeds around the country to still be relevant. i thought jesse's secret out-of-wedlock child coming to light would force him to sit down, but no.

he was bill clinton's "spiritual advisor" during the monica lewinsky ordeal during the same time he got this other woman pregnant. yet, somehow, someone out there still believes in jesse jackson.

Gangsta D:

I guess he built up enough brownie points in the past:) Read more!

OOOOOOH! MISTER BATTIER!!! OOOOOOOH!

Gangsta D:

Ok Pippen's chick is ridiculous. Why didn't I spend more time playing basketball instead of Double Dribble?!?!?!?

Da Realist:

nice, kobe. very nice.

Gangsta D:

Both Battier and Duncan's chicks suit them perfectly...perfectly boring:)

Waldini:

Dont hate on Duncan, he's been with that chick since college :-)

As for MISSTEEER BAAAATIIEEEEEEER, not shocked at all Read more!

Burn Hollywood Burn - 20 Questions Edition

Gangsta D:

Do the Lakers need a new head coach? Are they tuning out Phil? Can he coach a young team? Who's fault is it that since going 30-19, they are 10-19? Is it Kobe? Injuries? Why are they incapable of playing defense? Why is Smush still on the active roster? Why don't they huslte anymore? Can Kobe lead this team? If he's the best, why does his team suck? Will they make the playoffs? If they make the playoffs, will they get demolished? Why am I surprised when they win? Why do I have a severe hate for this time right now? If that's the case, why do I still hold out hope for a turnaround? Should they consider trading Lamar, Farmar, Kwame, or Drew? How long can Jerry Buss deal with mediocrity? What offseason moves can be made? What happened to my team?

Da Realist:

this is a trap. i won't go near this one.

Gangsta D:

It's not a trap. It's real. I have no idea why we suck now. It doesn't make sense that we could beat the Spurs (twice), Dallas, Phoenix, Utah, and Houston before January, but now we suck ass.

Da Realist:

ok. i'll give my point of view. lamar odom is too timid. he should be much more of a force than he is. i think he would be a really good third option on a team, not the second. if he's your second best player, your team is mediocre.

kobe can do everything on the court, but the sum of these parts don't really equal the whole. he's not that good at game-management. he's too hot and cold, and i'm not just talking about his shooting percentages. he likes to be a hero and will go on long stretches of relative inactivity before exploding late in the 4th to save the team from another loss. sometimes this works, most times it doesn't. i remember pippen said (while he was still with portland) that kobe should concentrate more on 8,8,8,8 than 2,4,12,15...in other words, be more of a consistent force to even out all the highs and lows.

i think phil writing that book was the worst thing he's done because he compromised himself. it's like you leave your wife, humilate her in the streets, fall on your face and are forced to move back in. you're not the same man you were when you left. it's HER house now. i think phil is doing more compromising than kobe. i'm not saying kobe doesn't listen, but it's more kobe's team than phil's. i've never seen this many S/R's and iso's on a phil jackson coached team. it's like the lakers aren't even TRYING to run the triangle. and they play no defense.

you can't convince me that the lakers shouldn't have at least the 4th best record in the western conference -- based on the fact that kobe is the most talented players in the league with 11 years under his belt and they're coached by the GOAT. most teams in the nba suck except for 5 or 6. did you know that '94 bulls team won 55 games without michael? defense, intangibles, fluid offense, hustle...almost got them to the finals. ok, SHOULD have gotten them to the finals. go back and see which team is more talented, 94 bulls or today's lakers. i say it's pretty comparable.

with that being said, i still think the lakers are dangerous in the playoffs and could conceivably beat phoenix if they can get a few bounces here and there.

Gangsta D:

Agree with 1st and 4th points. Not totally buying 3rd point. Definitely not buying 2nd point. Lamar should be way more aggressive. When Kobe has 26, he has 20, and Luke has 12-15, that means the ball is moving and everyone is getting involved. He's the trigger. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. Before he got hurt the first time he was averaging 19/9/6. That's All-Star caliber. Since then, I don't know what.

I really hope Farmar is ready to start next year. I just get tired of seeing PGs blow past Smush and create three point plays for their team.

Waldini:

First, D I didnt get your text til yesterday afternoon but it didnt matter, you already knew the outcome by Sun nightfall,

Second, I dont now wtf is wrong with LA. It's frustrating to watch them play. Injuries is one thing but dayum losing to the Bobcats, Grizzlies, Sonics, etc is straight up ridiculous. What nobody (well except Realist) was saying throughout Kobe's 50 plus scoring barrage was that they were squeaking by mediocre teams. That wont get it down in the playoffs.

Right now, LA is looking at playing Phx again in the first round. Diff btw last yr and this yr is that LA came into the 06 playoffs on a roll. They are literally limping in right now and looking like they go out in 4 games. Which means of course they will blow up the team :-)

Frustrated Laker fan

PS Smush shut da eff up and play

Gangsta D:

I can't see them totally blowing up the team. They're already one of the youngest teams in the league. Maybe trading a few parts. Maybe Bynum/Odum for KG. I never thought I'd advocate that, but the current situation isn't working so something's got to change. Read more!

Who you got Wilbon?!?!?

Da Realist:

scoop jackson's point

The MVP race came down to two games: on April 1, when the Suns beat the Mavs 126-104 (Nash had 23 points and 11 assists) and Sunday (Nash had 25 points and 11 assists, including 11 points in the fourth quarter). And even though the Suns won both games, the contest inside both games was judging Nash against the two players who were in position to "knock the champ out and take his belt," Dirk Nowitzki and Kobe Bryant. With Nash outplaying Dirk in that rout (and in Phoenix's classic March 14 double-OT win as well) and the Suns winning in Los Angeles as Kobe failed to have his eighth 40-plus game in a month, Nash locked up the MVP vote and secured his place as one of the greatest players of this generation.

jamele hill's point

Dirk's numbers certainly justify him being MVP. He's shooting 50 percent from the field, averaging 24.7 a game, nine rebounds and a career-high 3.4 assists. These aren't the best numbers of Dirk's career, but Dallas was the most dominant team of the regular season and Dirk contributed greatly to the Mavs' success.

Waldini:

By default I say Dirk. I stick to my guns that I cant continue to award MVP to a person that doesnt even make the Finals. I dont care what Jemele says, you need to have them in the Finals at least once. WHat makes it hard for me to easily dismiss Nash is that this is his best yr in his 2nd go round with the Suns.

On a side note, why isnt anyone saying anything about Duncan Donuts? The Spurs have the best record in the league since the All-Star break and they embarrassed the Suns last week.

Da Realist:

i can't buy the "haven't been to the finals" argument because this is a regular season award. it is completely based on regular season. but even if you go by that, there's still too much ambiguity to it. i guess the nba needs something to "validate" the regular season, so this is it.

you can't have a regular season award that emcompasses 5 different positions. how can you compare steve nash to kobe bryant to tim duncan when they play totally different positions?

the only thing that really matters is championships. the only subjective award i care about is "finals mvp" because it narrows the field and it's for all the marbles.

Waldini:

With all that said, who do you have for MVP :-)?

And I dont believe it's completely based on the entire regular season anymore. I think it's based on a few regular season marquee games. When the Suns beat the Mavs in that "instant classic" a few weeks ago, a few of the media said Nash wrapped up the award. But when the Suns lost to San Antonio last week, it became, well maybe it's Tim Duncan. Fast forward to Sun, the SUns beat LA and now it's back to Steve has sewn up the awards. I agree with you on the subjectivity which is why it's frustrating for me to watch the MVP award. For any sport, it's completely opinion based and what have you done for me lately not what did you do the entire time? Same s*** happened to me in sales school last year :-)

Da Realist:

i'll go with steve nash over dirk and kobe. i can't really argue against dirk, so if you want to go with him i won't stop you. i think he's a little soft, but again, this is a regular season award.

i don't think you have to be the best on the best team to win, so i don't discredit kobe for that. i think as long as your team is competitive, you should get consideration. with that being said, the lakers have lost too many games to scrub teams this year for him to win it.

i know this means 3 straight for steve, but keep in mind this is a different nba. it's a huge accomplishment, but let's hold off comparing him to larry bird.

Waldini:

When did Steve Nash become tough? I dont disagree with Dirk being called soft but does that mean Stevie is gritty. As Stone Cold used to say OH HELL NOOO

Da Realist:

steve's got a little grittiness to him. he's no isiah and he's no john stockton, but he'll come through for the win. Read more!

Magic Man vs God 23

Da Realist:

my two favorite players of all time. i've been thinking about this for a minute and i wanted to see what you think about it.

like i said, i don't really get into who's the 'best'. the question is, if i was starting a team who would i choose first?

i think magic can do more with a team that has a lot of talent. michael can do more with a team of average players.

in other words, magic's talents come out when he has all-stars to play with that understand the game and know how to position themselves to compliment magic's unbelievable court vision. he's good at "sharing the wealth" and making weapons out of everyone on the floor. conversely, he can make average players (terry teagle, elden campbell, etc) very good, just not as great as michael could have.

michael's talent is that he can do all things well. offense, rebounding, defense and he also has good court vision. he can take the average-to-good player and make them good enough to challenge for championships, but some of his talents would be under-utilized if he was playing with all-stars. if he had james worthy and kareem, why would mike post up? he wouldn't have needed to rebound or score as much.

you put mike on those laker teams, they are still good, just not as good. nobody had the court vision magic johnson had so it would have been difficult for mike to help those guys get the ball where they needed it *every time*. plus some of mike's talents, like post-ups and rebounding may have been under-utilized.

now put magic on those early 90's bulls teams. who becomes the go-to scorer? who helps scottie defensively on the perimeter? paxson and byron scott are both spot-up shooters, but byron was way more athletic and actually took the ball to the basket more. magic's court vision would be under-utilized a bit because of the limits on his (chicago) teammates. Read more!

I Love LA, But Why Does Donald Sterling?

Da Realist:

i saw the lakers/clippers game last night and saw a fan with a #24 kobe bryant clippers jersey on. everytime the lakers scored, half the crowd cheered. maybe more. this was a HOME game for the clippers.

WHY DON'T THEY LEAVE LA? why not go someplace they can be beloved? they will NEVER get love from LA while the lakers are in town, no matter who is the better team that year. it's almost like donald sterling enjoys being the doormat of the city. go back to san diego or vegas or maybe san francisco. isn't oklahoma city still trying to get a franchise? if the sonics move there, then go to seattle. anything but LA.

just doesn't make sense to me.

Gangsta D:

You're asking why Sterling doesn't move from LA? He's an LA real estate guy. The Clippers ain't going nowhere mane...as long as Sterling is the owner.

Da Realist:

what a waste. even when they're good, they don't matter. donald should be like paul allen. paul lives in seattle but owns the portland trailblazers. you gotta find some way to make it work. branding is probably the most important marketing tool a team can have. the lakers brand is all over LA. the cowboys are all over dallas. red sox are all over boston. you gotta go someplace where you can develop your own brand. make it your city.

if stern allows it, i would move to vegas if i was donald sterling. vegas isn't that far from LA but far enough to seperate yourself from the purple and gold. get out of the staples center, get out of LA.

the clippers are a joke and will continue to be no matter how good they are.

Gangsta D:

As long as the clips keep turning a profit, they ain't going anywhere. Sterling isn't Mark Cuban. He really doesn't give a squat about winning a title. I mean how else do you explain how Elgin Baylor has kept his job for so long?

Da Realist:

the sad thing is that you're right. there's no way to ensure the owners have "good intentions". these teams are at least in part "public entities". we support these teams. we should at least be reasonably assured that they will do anything realistically possible to create a winning atmosphere.

the tribune company ran the cubs like a business. the cubs bring in more money and are more well-known than any team outside of new york and boston. yet they suck every year. the key is they turn a HUGE profit every year. you couldn't get into wrigley field unless you go to a ticket broker because they sell out every seat every year even though they suck every single year. i'm glad the tribune company is selling the cubs. donald should think about selling the clips.

Gangsta D:

If the Clips go into the red for two consecutive years, then he will. I can see both perpectives. As a businessman, you want ROI. That's why you buy businesses. To some, they just wait for the annual valuation figures. If the value of the franchise keeps going up and they turn a nice profit, then they're happy. That's what they care about. Spending $200 million on a team and selling for $400 million. On the other hand, as a fan you want them to do what it takes to put a winning team on the field. In the end, it just comes down to what kind of businessman buys the team. An owner that believes in increasing valuation through marketability, acclaim, and championships or owners like Sterling.

Waldini:

He's in a prime position right now which is why he wont say the Clips. D just said it, his ROI was still good even when the Clips were a s**** organization for all those years before last year. And now that they are winning? Its like Christmas to him.

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We Report...You Decide - Early 90's Edition

Does R. Kelly owe a HUGE amount of gratitude to Aaron Hall? Methinks yes...



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Mean Mugging....Literally

This is by far the funniest mugshot I've ever seen. The crime isn't funny. He's accused of beating and raping a 75 year old woman in Ponte Vedra, FL. I was just watching 24 when this bulletin came on, and I laughed for about 5 minutes. I know I know. The crime is horrific, but damn that's the funniest shit ever.

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Recognize The Nasty Man....Pricks

Da Realist:

interesting off-subject article for today...

"It's all on Teddy," he said. "Me and Damion will do whatever. We don't have the control problem. Teddy is a genius in the studio, but you can't control something unless you're better. You can't tell the fans you're the leader of Guy and go onstage without me. See what they'll say. See what the reporters say. Sing all the songs yourself. I can sing all the songs by myself, but I don't. He can't sing 'Let's Chill,' 'Goodbye Love,' 'Piece of My Love,' nothing. I can sing 'I Like' a cappella, and the audience will go crazy."

Waldini:

I miss you was my joint ("Shooow me those pretty eeeyes, please baaaybbeee dont you crrryyy wohhh ooohhh, I miss you, wooohh ohhhh...")

Did you guys every peep Guy III? I remember when it dropped and I was like man, Guy has really fallen off. I dont know if Teddy's the problem but Hall is the latest from the Guy/Blackstreet mold to discuss Riley's difficutly as a person to work it.

Dang Velez was that young when he tapped?

Gangsta D:

Would they even make a dent if they released an album now? Will kids who were conceived to "Let's Chill" really appreciate a new Guy album? Are there enough cats our age willing to cop it? He is right about not getting his props though. Umm yeah, Mr. Kelly I'm talking to you:)

Da Realist:

whoa, whoa, whoa... the only think r. kelly got from aaron hall was the bald head and cane look for his 12 play album. there is a reason kels is still dropping hits while no one even remember who aaron hall is.

Gangsta D:

Listen to R. Kelly's FIRST album, with Public Announcement. If you can tell a discernible difference between R and Aaron, I'll buy Amber the world's biggest Teddy Bear. Read more!

It's Great To Be A Floriduh Gaytor!!

Gangsta D:

Greg Oden's legit.

Where the @%#$ was Conley and Lewis?

2-18 from three at one point?

Joakim Noah makes me want to drink alcohol....rubbing alcohol.

Corey Brewer is the only one I respect...cause he wears a headband.

Anytime you wanna run an actual offense Thad. Anytime will do....

%$%@ Lee Humphrey for trying to be Anderson Hunt.

@#&$ the Buckeyes for making me endure these obnoxious Gator fans for another year.

@#$% Yannick Noah for banging a Swedish model.

@#$% Sidney Green and Tito Horford for not being gay.

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Waldini:

Dang dude, that's some straight up Silky Johnson-So Called Beautiful hate right there. At least you didnt accuse Pat Summit of wearing underwear with dick holes in them :-0

I watched this game and thought the following:

- Horford, Brewer, and Oden are ready to go pro. Everyone else who is thinking about it is not.

- Anyone else notice how Jim Nantz look perplexed when he asked Noah about winning it twice after the game ended, and was confused by Noah's response "We gon do it BIG tonight and if you dont know what that means, dont worry, my Gator Boys do"

- Old Man Oden looks like he should be my dad fo real

- Who thinks Billy D isnt headed to UK now?

Gangsta D:

Come on, everyone knows Pat Summit wears underwear with dick holes in them...

Noah is gonna sucker some team into drafting him in the top 5. he is not, I repeat is NOT, a top 5 player. He has no offensive game and isn't that great of an athlete. Tyrus Thomas went high cause his athleticsm is off the charts, watch his dunk on Josh Smith from this weekend. He's a good hustle player who is a good on the ball defender and good passer. He is too small to bang against big bodies in the NBA and he has no perimeter game. he wil be a good supporting player. He doesn't suck, but Horford and Brewer should go before him. Read more!