Karl Malone. King Of Douche.

Da Realist:

This breaking news may just give roger clemons a pass...

Bell is the son of Malone, but the Mailman had no role in Bell’s success except passing along athletic genes.

The two have had very little contact during Bell’s life. His mother, Gloria Bell, reportedly was only 13 years old and Malone a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech when Demetrius was born. Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges.

Gangsta D:

Wow. Karl Malone. 13?!? You went to school in Louisiana! I've been to La. There are PLENTY of dope 20 year old chicks in La. Douchebaggery at it's finest.

Da Realist:

How in the hell do you not put this guy on child support??? He's a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE! Not only that...but for 9 months out of every year, you know exactly where he is going to be! That woman has that much pride?

She might have never had to work a day in her life. 10% of his income is BIG money down in the swamps of louisiana. can't believe that...

Read more!

Old School Wednesday - Next Question

People hate Drew Rosenhaus. Tony Kornheiser wonders if he has a soul. NFL General Managers have colluded to never name their sons Drew or let their daughters marry anyone named Rosenhaus. But I like him. Maybe it's because he reps so many former 'Canes. Maybe it's because he's so full of shit, it's endearing. Maybe because he always gets it poppin. Or maybe because his clients always get paid. At any rate, I came across this article from '96 on Dr. Drew and had to post it. I had no idea he was getting hated on all the way back then. Dude just rubs people the wrong way. But I'd hire his ass in a minute.

Other agents despise Rosenhaus, and some team executives are loath to do business with him. He has been described as slithering and blindly ambitious. Rosenhaus knows what people say, and he LIKES it. But he urges you to see the good, too. "I'M A LIKABLE GUY!" he bellows.

He's likable until it's time to negotiate. Then, he's ready to cut your heart out with an emery board.

"I am not 100 percent honest with teams," says Rosenhaus

I'm shocked at this information.

"They DESPISE me," he shouts. "They hate me because I'm young and I've broken into this business and KICKED everybody's ASS. I LOVE the fact that my competitors hate my guts."

I fucking love this guy. How can you not? Read more!

Illest. Video. Ever.

My boy sent me this video, and I couldn't help but watch it with my mouth wide open. This is footage of an intersection in India. You'll notice no traffic lights or stop signs. Indians are such good drivers, they have no need for such suchery. If I ever go to India, I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed when I get into a car. I know for a fact, I'll have a heart attack every 50 feet.

Read more!

Old School Spotlight

Check out my latest column at Urban Thought Collective. Read more!

Waldini Wonders

Waldini:

Just a few playoff thoughts from the wknd....

- The West was billed as the gauntlet of all gauntlets in terms of playoffs. As of today, 3 of the series are 3-1 and one is 3-0. TNT is pissed b/c their slogan "We know drama" isn't happening in the West

- The East is going as expected. Only one series is competitive and I think Detroit has finally realized they are in the postseason

- I know Miami started it a few years ago but must every home team deploy the one color team shirts for motivation? It hasn't helped the underdogs in this series. Tell the marketing depts to stop the madness

- It's not the 80s but cats are definitely trying to act tough this postseason. West with the face tap to Dirk, Deshawn's takedown on Lebron, Dampier pushing Paul on a layup, etc. Trying to understand where it's coming from

- How are those trades in Dallas and Phoenix working out?

- If Josh Smith develops a consistent jumper it's over.....

- Funny how everyone piled on Billy King for supposedly making the Sixers a horrible team. yet they are tied 2-2 with the supposed heavyweight of the Eastern conference

Anyway, hoping for a Laker sweep 2morrow and Rockets/Mavs season ender on Tues :-)

Da Realist:

"hoping" for a lakers sweep? from what i understand, denver gave up at halftime of the last game.

and shouldn't you be hoping the rockets extend the jazz to 7 games? or even hoping they win? i don't know much about the jazz, but the rockets S-U-C-K. i would be the biggest rocket fan in texas if i were you. lol...

Waldini:

I was trying to sound like the pros when they are PC when they talk about their opponents being down even though everyone knows the end is near. The broom is coming out tonight. Tonight's top story: Lakers eat up the Chicken (Mc)Nuggets

I originally wanted Houston to win so that LA could be the one to end their season in the semifinals :-). But the Rocket fans started up their noise during the 1st round and I said ok, I just want them out, don't care if it's us or the Jazz

Read more!

Sucka MC's

Apparently Jason Kidd isn't the only Maverick that has beef with Byron Scott. Jerry Stackhouse also made public his issues with Coach Scott

Waldini: Funny thing is he would have a ring if his team hadn't choked 2 years ago....


Realist: doesn't fly in my book. byron was an important piece to those teams. he's the main reason teams didn't want to double abdul-jabbar. and he shot more than jumpshots. he and james worthy filled the lanes beautifully. also, i can't forget the shot he made to pull the lakers to within one point against the pistons in game 6 of the 88 finals. that shot saved their championship.


Gangsta: Stack's just bitter. Now if he had said that about Kupchak...


Waldini: Well we all know it's Stack so what do you expect? This is the same cat who said in '96 that he was the best 2 guard in the league and that no one could guard him. And the next night, MJ kindly lit his a$$ up for 55 :-)


Realist: i always felt like he was overrated, even when he was in philly/detroit.


Waldini: I thought he was decent, just not as good as he thinks he is


Realist: he was like a bull. he had all this strength but no real agility or grace. he was never that quick off the first step, either. he shot a high volume of shots so his stats made him look better than he was. Read more!

Old School Friday - It Came From The 80's

What came from the 80's? Really corny commercials, that's what. These joints were sometimes godawful and sometimes cheesy, but are always entertaining in retrospect.


Daily News

My God, even in 1986, Lupica looked like a Total Fucking Douchebag. He definitely reached 100% douche efficiency before joining Sports Reporters. How Howard could contain himself from busting Lupica in the face, is a secret he took to the grave.




Breakin & Poppin

My. God. The level of suck in this "commercial" is so spectacular, I can't believe it wasn't sponsored by Hoover. I think I'm gonna cop that "Rap Attack Vol 2." Alphonso said it was radical, so it's a must have ya dig?




Plumpers Hot Dogs

I know some dudes that love eating plumpers.




Hi-C

Remember when you went on field trips and your mom would pack your lunch. The night before she'd freeze your Hi-C and wrap them in foil, so by the time you were ready to drink them the next day they'd be all slushy. That shit was great, huh?




Huggabunch

Huggabunch? Yeah, I have no fucking clue. These things are kind of freaky. I can't imagine any sane parent buying this for their daughter. Of course, everyone was doing blow in the 80's so it's possible.

Read more!

Old School Wednesday - King Of New York

Not too many young cats know who Bernard King is, which is a shame, because this guy was unguardable in his prime. In the post, on the wing, driving the lane, from outside, he was giving guys buckets. I mean BUCKETS. His career was cut short thanks to injuries, but please believe that Mr. King was a beast. As we dip into the SI Vault, check out this article on the legendary Knicks-Pistons 1st round series from 1984.

...the 6'7" forward averaged 42.6 points a game in one of the NBA's most extraordinary playoff performances ever. His 213 points against Detroit, on 84-of-139 shooting (60%) from the floor, broke the five-game record of 197 set by the Lakers' Elgin Baylor against Detroit in 1961.

Are you shitting me? That is just sick-wit-it.

In Game 2 he scored 46 despite the dislocated fingers, strained ligaments in his left knee and severe leg cramps. In a breathtaking 5:29 in the first quarter, King ran off 23 consecutive points, breaking by eight the NBA record held by Wilt Chamberlain and Walt Hazzard.

Warrior much?

"I learned each player's deficiency on defense and I tried to attack it," he says. King simply jumped over 6'6" forward Kelly Tripucka, used his quickness to go around 6'10" forward Kent Benson, used trickery on 6'9" center Earl Cureton ("He went for fakes a great deal," says King) and always shot jumping into rather than away from 6'8" forward Cliff Levingston, a great leaper. "

THIS is what separates the great players from the superstars. See below.



Read more!

Programming Note

Old School Friday is no more. Well, not really. I've received an opportunity to write a column for Urban Thought Collective. And guess what my contribution will be? That's right, Old School Friday. I'll throw up a link when it's posted on the site. So OSF, in it's former incarnation, will no longer be a part of The Commission. But, we're gonna change things up a little bit. On Fridays, we'll hit you with classic sports, wrestling, and pop culture clips. On Wednesday, we'll spotlight an article from the SI Vault. Hope you enjoy the changes.

Update: Here is the link to the new column. I didn't know they'd list me as a comedian. I mean I'm a funny motherfucker, but not professionally so. It's all good though:) Read more!

Where Dirk Getting "Deebo'd" Happens

Waldini:

It's been a minute since I have sat down and dedicated time to watch other 1st round playoff games besides the ones my boys play in BUT this wknd produced more sizzle than fizzle.

- Wiz-Cavs - a near fight before halftime, Lebron mocking Deshawn's I can't feel my face gesture, Gilbert going OFF in the 1st qtr. This series lived up to the hype in Game 1. I can only hope it continues in the other games (and goes more than 4 or 5 games

- Suns-Spurs - double OT thriller, All Stars fouling out (STAT, Mrs Longoria), Manu Manu being clutch in the 2nd OT, Duncan Stix with the unlikely 3 in the 1st OT, Shaq accusing the Spurs of flopping. Again, same comments as above for hope (and please Pop no Hack a Shaq next time, be a man)

- Mavs-Hornets - Hornets looking like they were going to prove their critics right, Peja looking like Mr March again, Kidd looking like a triple double waiting to happen...and BAM Chris Paul goes apes*** in the 3rd. And you have the ultimate b***h move in Dirk Diggler backing down to David West in the 4th. I'm not saying he should have swung on him but geez slap his hand away

- Jazz-Rockets - the only ho-hum game of the day.

- Magic-Raps - another ho-hum game, this time Sun's kickoff

- Lakers-Nuggets - not spectacular but not ho-hum either. I mean you had a tale of two halves or really 4th qtrs, Lakers up big in the 3rd, AI getting ejected in the 4th, lots of healthy conversation (as Kobe called it).

- Sixers-Pistons - Appeared to be ho-hum (I stopped watching to play NBA Live) and I come back in the 4th and the Sixers are leading. They go on to win which makes no sense. The Pistons are supposedly serious about getting back to the Finals but someone quoted them as goofing around with Flip Murray during timeout. I'm starting to believe that 2004 title was a fluke

- Celtics-Hawks - the ho-hum series of the 1st round meaning it was over before it began

I'm telling ya Realist, the quality of the games has been good, you really need to check it out if you haven't already. You actually see games where all 5 players on offense are moving instead of standing around and watching 1 or 2 players trying to either do an iso or pick and roll play

Gangsta D:

I doubt that Detroit is in trouble, but they're not good enough to turn it on and off. If they keep playing around, they're gonna be fishing with Kenny sooner than they thought.

As far as Spurs-Suns go, I hope they go 7 games and go into OT 3-4 more times. Tire them legs out! Lol

Denver isn't beating LA, as long as Kobe STOPS TAKING BAD SHOTS! lol

Da Realist:

I saw the 2 overtimes of the suns/spurs. Nice game. Saw Ginobli waltz in for a game-winning layup and had to check my watch to make sure it's April and not December. Had a nice conversation with someone who said Ginobli is the greatest clutch performer since Larry Bird. Well, not much of a conversation...more like he said it, and I started laughing uncontrollably LOL...

Those other games...are you serious? I don't care what the Wiz do, win or lose. The mavs are soft. I don't need to see Gasol hit 15 uncontested layups while Kobe clank shots against a bad defensive team. And you said yourself the other games were ho-hum. So i didn't exactly miss anything.

Waldini:

Ginobli? since Larry Bird? Does he have cable? I'm curious what did he base his argument on? I'll give him Ginobli's a beast but greatest clutch since 33 hung them up....um

Da Realist:

Man, that young guy... I work with him and he called me yesterday spouting that garbage. 25 year old punk. lol... I don't know what he based his argument on. I didn't give him a chance to defend it. Probably never even seen Larry Bird, even on tape. lol... Read more!

Old School Friday - An Ode To Zeke

We all know that the Knicks are a mess. We know that Isiah is in the eye of that storm. We know his tenure as Knicks GM/Coach has largely been a failure. We also know that he will be fired at some point between now and 15 minutes from now15 minutes ago. But one thing we often forget is how GREAT of a player Zeke was. When he was on, he was unstoppable. Just ask the Blazers. Eighteen years later, Terry Porter is still finding pieces of shrapnel on his person because of Isiah's explosions. So, today we're pay some respect to a great player who couldn't transition into the front office.


1988 Playoffs - Bulls vs Pistons Game 4

After the Bulls cut the lead to five, Isiah goes apeshit and scores nine straight points, punctuated by a step back 3, to ice the game. BTW, I wanna file charges against Doug Collins' perm. That thing was an abomination.




1988 Playoffs - Bulls vs Pistons Game 3

Zeke buries a jumper from behind the glass, as Hubie and Verne wax poetic.




Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

Unfortunately, it wasn't all good for Zeke. In this clip he gets BEASTED by Will Smith. If the NBDL was around in '91, Will would've got a try out, no? lol




The Smiling Assassin

This motherfucker was cold on the basketball court.

Read more!

Who Ya Got?: NBA Playoffs Edition (Western Conference)

LA vs Denver

Gangsta D: Denver can score, obviously, but can't[won't] play a lick of defense. If the Lakers shoot 30 threes a game, instead of pounding inside, Denver will hang around. If they handle their business, it's a wrap, and not even close. Lakeshow in 5

Waldini: Denver's got the offense but no defense. Lakers' defense isn't the greatest but for this series, it doesn't have to be. I'll give Denver a game for AI's heart. Lakers in 5

Da Realist: [How do you say Kobe eats a fat one Serbian?] *


NOLA vs Mavs

Gangsta D: This one I'm torn on. CP3 will DESTROY Kidd. The Hornets are on a mystical magical carpet ride, but is the ride about to come to a crashing halt? Dallas has been playing well of late, and Dirk has hit some big shots. The Hornets have some playoff experience, but are they gonna lean on Bonzi and Peja for guidance? Didn't think so. The Hornets will be a threat for years to come, but they bow out early this year. Mavs in 7

Waldini: One of the 2 WC 1st rd series I want to see. True, NO does have players with playoff experience but one of them is Mr April himself, Peja. It would be easy to pick Dallas b/c of this but I'm still not sold on Dirk being courageous for playing on a sprained ankle. Bottom line, he curled up big time in '06 and '07. Interesting series. Hornets in 7

Da Realist: [I'd rather watch "The Birdman" smoke a bowl, while Flavor Flav clips his toenails, then watch this travesty]


Suns vs Spurs

Gangsta D: Wow. Either Shaq or Duncan will be fishing before Memorial Day this year. Marinate on that one:) There's still plenty of enmity between these two teams, and it may be the most hard fought 1st round series. It's really a toss up for me. I have no idea who wins. If Manu is healthy, maybe the Spurs have the edge. On the other hand, the Spurs have no answer for STAT. Suns in 7

Waldini: The other WC 1st rd series I want to see. Shaq vs Duncan, Nash vs Parker, I expect a physical series again. Doubt there will be any hip check incidents like last year. Steve Kerr is about to find out if he is indeed an idiot or a genius. I tend to go with the former. Spurs in 6.

Realist: [I'm running out of ways of intimating that this shit sucks. How about...this shit sucks.]


Houston vs Utah

Gangsta D: Utah does NOT have homecourt advantage, even though they're the higher seed. They are physically incapable of beating good teams on the road. Houston plays tough defense and McGrady does enough to finally get past the first round. Rockets in 7

Waldini: The Jazz need HC advantage in every series but this one to have a chance. Who starts for Alston since he's out the first 2 games? Who's going to pick up the offensive slack besides T-Mac? This same matchup happened in the first round last year with Houston also having HC (and a healthy Yao). And Houston still lost in 7 at home. Utah wins, just can't figure out if it's 6 or 7 games. What the hell, Jazz in 7

Da Realist: [Do I have to say how much you suck when your season depends on Skip To My Lou being healthy? Didn't think so.]

*Realist continues his boycott against this bullshit we call the NBA playoffs.

Read more!

Who Ya Got?: NBA Playoffs Edition (Eastern Conference)

Boston vs Atlanta

Gangsta D: If Josh Smith...if Joe Johnson...if Mike Bibby...play out of their collective minds, they might force Game 5. Otherwise it's pretty much a wrap, and this series could turn BRUTAL real quick. C's sweep.

Waldini: I'm mad you gave this a paragraph :-). Celtics in 4

Da Realist: [Both teams suck]*


Detrois vs Philly

Gangsta D: Very intriguing matchup. Philly came out of nowhere to become a decent team, while the Pistons did their usual regular season coasting. The difference now, is that they actually have a decent bench. Whether Flip uses them is a different story. I think the Pistons sleepwalk through this one, and let the 6'ers hang around a little. Detrois in 6.

Waldini: The Sixers have quietly been doing their thing for the past 3 months. I still don't think the new Philly AI is a max franchise player but he is fun to watch in the open court. They played Detroit tough in the regular season. But this is the postseason and I hope for the first time since the '04 playoffs, the Pistons actually beatdown lesser opponents like they are supposed to. Pistons in 5

Da Realist: [Neither team is worth a squirt of piss in a bucket]


Orlando vs Toronto

Gangsta D: I don't know much about either team, other than the Magic LOVE to shoot 3's and no one in the Canadian Army[do they have one?] can stop Dwight Howard. The Raps have faded down the stretch, so momentum is not on their side. Magic in 6.

Waldini: Two young stars in Howard and Bosh, very little or no playoff experience for both teams, one team has better guard play (Toronto), the other has better frontcourt play (Orlando). I would give you an X factor player but I can't name more than 6 players total on both teams. Magic in 6

Da Realist: [I'd rather clean gutters than watch these two teams]


Cavs vs Wiz

Gangsta D: Gil appears to be healthy. Bron is probably not. DeShawn has been talking smack. Bron doesn't really have to. But he will have to carry this team on his spasmodic back, which will be difficult. The Wiz have revenge in their eyes, and not a trace of fear in their hearts. The Cavs have looked horrible at times since The Trade, and will rely on Bron getting 35/10/10 to advance. He can do it, but it still may not be enough. This should be the most entertaining EC series, by far. Wiz in 7.

Waldini: Aw, the Eastern Conference 1st round series I want to see. Agent Zero and DeShawn have indeed been stirring the hornets' nest in Cle. You're right, that trade was horrible when it was announced and the past few weeks didn't change that. Sasha's their best perimeter defender and he's out until further notice. Bron's ailing back isn't helping either and he's gotta go da eff in EVERY game for Cle to win. He could prove me wrong. Wizards in 6

Da Realist: [I don't have a bag big enough to contain the amount of suck inherent in this series]

*Realist feels the NBA...lacks quality this season.

Read more!

Back In The Day There Was Bonus Coverage?

Da Realist:

Can you imagine both MJ and Magic playing important playoff games at the same time? here's proof from back in the day.



Waldini:

He wants his viewers to see every game now with as little competition as possible. I miss the old CBS and NBC days where the playoffs would kick off around noon on Sat and run straight into the evening times.

Gangsta D:

Remember when you'd come home from school and a game would already be on? Seems like a lifetime ago.

Da Realist:

Instead of waiting 5 days between games, why not try the ncaa format. Sell a package that would give the fans access to all the games. When Detroit is beating the snot out of Chicago, go to the alternate channel and watch the Lakers in Utah.

I understand how you don't want fans to miss these great players. I didn't get to see the Laker/Jazz game because Chicago/Detroit was shown in my region. But still...I also appreciate continuity. Teams like Chicago and Detroit developed a real hatred toward each other because they had to play every other day and sometimes consecutive days. injuries and conditioning mattered too. If someone sprained an ankle, it affected the next game. If a team was not in good condition, they wore down having to play that frequently.

Now...with 3-5 days in between games, the NBA has to rebuild the hype before each of the games. Injuries and fatigue are no longer as much of a factor. Those things made the playoffs special and unpredictable.

(Unfortunately, I remember everything about that weekend. My parents went somewhere and left me at my grandmother's. The Bulls and Pistons were tied at 1-1 and were going to play both sat and sun. I believed with all of my 11 year old heart that chicago had a chance with homecourt advantage. Alas, Detroit beat Chicago like a pinata both days. I was so depressed.) Read more!

The Decline Of ESPN, The Suckage Of Stephen A, & The Inadequacies Of Mark Jackson

Gangsta D:

Remember when Sportscenter was the lick?

On this night Patrick, whose succinct trademark phrases, such as "The whiff!" and "Gone!" are ESPN cult classics, is trying out an exotic basketball term. Instead of referring to an easy shot as a layup or a dunk, he calls a shot a "bunny," as in "Lloyd Daniels blows the bunny." He does this once, and Olbermann, off-camera, turns in surprise and mouths, "Bunny?" Patrick says it again, and Olbermann smiles and shakes his head. Then, when Olbermann's turn comes to do a basketball highlight, he watches Greg Anthony of the New York Knicks miss a three-point shot and slyly ad-libs, "And he misses the bunny-and-a-half!" When the show is over, Norby Williamson, 29, the producer of the 11:30 SportsCenter, asks if perhaps there weren't a few too many bunnies. Patrick doesn't miss a beat. "They do multiply," he says.

Waldini:

And then ESPN 2 and ESPN news but expanded telecasts messed it all up lol

Gangsta D:

A lot of things messed it up. I'm looking at you Skip, Salisbury, and Stephen A!!! lol

Waldini:

Funny u mention Skip. I was watching 1st Take last week with him and he was in mid season form with his ranting about how arrogant it was for Tiger Woods to say he could win all 4 majors in a calendar year. It's Skip so you can only get so annoyed about it. But he's an ass and whenever they paired him with Woody Paige or Stephen A, I just cringed.

At least Salisbury Steak is gone....

Gangsta D:

I'm still trying to figure out why Skip still has a job. He brings nothing to the table. He annoys anyone with a pulse. And he's stupid:)

Da Realist:

Stephen S's cool ass annoy me the most. He's so damn cool. He speaks for all the hood brothers. He's THE resident black man on the set.

Oh wait...scratch that. Mark Jackson is a FUCKING IDIOT. There. Got that out of my system.

Gangsta D:

I think Marc Jackson is OK. He's better than Reggie Miller:)

Da Realist:

That comment alone will make me disown you. Mark Jackson is a brown-nosing phony.

Waldini:

That brown nosing phony is about to be the head coach of the NY Knicks.

Da Realist:

Has the NBA gone that far? Dude has no coaching experience and he's gonna coach the KNICKS? What is this? American Idol? Can i try-out? Read more!

Monday WTF

There's all kinds of WTF going on in this pic. The man who appears to be molesting Sam Cassell is the Celtics' Strength & Conditioning Coach. His name is Brian Doo, and seems awfully happy dooing whatever the fuck it is he's dooing behind Sam. I just hope Sam I Am was able to maintain his dignity afterwards.


(Hat tip:Dimemag) Read more!

Apparently Zeke Has Never Seen A Bus He Couldn't Throw Someone Under

Da Realist:

This is SO INTERESTING. I don't know what to say about the guy...

Flashback interview from 94 part 1

* So you think his retiring and your hitting him were a coincidence?

"Laimbeer had been contemplating retirement, as you know, for the last four years. And every single year he had to be talked out of it. This is a kind of egotistical thing to say, but I think what happened was by me missing five, six games (with the broken hand), I was the only friend he had on that team. And he goes to practice for two weeks straight and I'm not there. Who's he talking to? He doesn't know any of these guys."

Flashback interview from 94 part 2

* You mean Joe Dumars?

"Yeah. They got to be friends, so Jordan got to get inside our inner workings and find out who was who and what made this guy tick. When you look back on it, you see the games that he played in the media, and how he moved that guy and moved that guy. . . . It was masterful."

* You're saying his friendship with Dumars was a strategy?

"In my opinion, yes."

Gangsta D:

Pretty good pieces. He's definitely a complicated man.

Da Realist:

He basically threw the whole team under the bus. You can't trust that guy at all.

Laimbeer and Dumars? i can't believe he threw them under the bus like that.

Waldini:

Laimbeer, Dumars, Dantley, Magic, Vinnie Johnson, Earl Cureton, the man just went for the gusto and put everybody's business out there. Normally, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt since Albom wrote this but his post playing track record basically provides more ammo in addition to this article.

Good read.

And Dantley still hasnt forgiven him.

Da Realist:

The thing is...Isiah made some sense when talking about the Dantley trade, but it's all a lie. Dantley wasn't traded due to his basketball shortcomings, he was traded because Isiah didn't like him. Isiah denied it for years.

And if you're Dantley, wouldn't it still piss you off? He was traded from a team destined to win championships. He was sent to Dallas and he was so hurt he didn't even show up for a few days. Then to watch them win the title?

I remember the next year someone started a movement to allow Dantley to receive a ring anyway but Stern nixed it. Read more!

Old School Friday - Random Randomness

I've been shooting matches at the Bausch & Lomb Tennis Tournament all week, so I haven't had time to think up a good post, or do a lot of searching. So....you get the randomness. And you'll like it, damn it. BTW, Sharapova is every bit of 6'2" and grunts like a badger being stabbed and electrocuted at the same time. Holla. Go Wild!!


Showbiz AG - Next Level

Dope beat. Slept on group. Can I get a soul clap for these dudes? Come on!




Tupac feat Scarface - Smile
"Bustin' shots blindly trying to find Jehova." This is one of those quintessential Pac tracks where it seems like he's talking directly to you. That was always Pac's strength. You just felt that dude.

Ice-T - High Rollers

Darlene or Coco? Coco's got mucho ass, but I gotta go with Darlene. She was that original exotic chick that made dudes stammer. And she's still dope!




Mariah Carey feat Bone - Breakdown

I was kind of concerned when I first heard this song. Bone had worked with giants of the game in previous years: Eazy-E, Biggie, and Pac. In '95 E died. In '96 Pac died. In '97 Biggie died. When this joint hit, I was like "Well nice knowing ya Mimi." Alas, my fears were squelched. Mariah's gone on to have more hit songs, boob jobs, and quasi-psychotics episodes on live tv.

OutKast feat Slick Rick - Da Art Of Storytelling

"Let's hit the parking lot so I can sick yo duck." Why can't I meet a chick like that...that won't charge me?




Nas - Hard To Tell

"I leave 'em froze like heroin in ya nose." Heroin freezes in your nose? That's kind of fucked up, no?



As a little bonus, check out this "remix" I did for "Ain't Hard To Tell."




AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

"If my day keeps going this way I might break your fucking face tonight!" I always bust this song out when I'm in the doldrums. Usually perks me up on the quickfast.

Read more!

The Juice Lets Loose

It's well documented that the SI Vault is probably the best thing to hit the internets since Bang Bros. While doing my daily perusal, I came across an interview with OJ from November of '92. Knowing what we know now, the interview is pretty hilarious. Here are a few highlights:


SI: Are you as aggressive in other sports?

O.J.: One of the reasons I don't play much tennis is that there are too many weekend warriors. All their aggression, all their masculinity comes out on the tennis court. I don't need that at this point of my life. Line calls? Guys go nuts! And they're close friends of mine! I don't need that.

Hmm...OJ doesn't need aggression in his life? Riiiight...

O.J.: The American public didn't categorize me as black or white, just that O.J. was O.J., which I liked.

Amazing how a double murder trial can get the American public to categorize you as black...really quickly.


SI: Do you have a checklist that keeps you from taking yourself too seriously?

O.J.: My mother. The Bible. Do unto others. That's my basic philosophy. It is so simple. You treat everybody the way you want to be treated. Because I can run with a football—used to be able to run with a football—I'm making a fortune? I have my faults. Sometimes people close to me suffer from my celebrity and from my natural weaknesses, weaknesses that all men have. Fortunately, I've got my weaknesses under control.

Apparently OJ keeps his weaknesses in a box...along with his stiletto.


SI: Was there ever a time when you were uncomfortable being a celebrity?

O.J.: I think it has been more uncomfortable for people who live with me over a period of time. I prepared for it [being a celebrity] my whole life. As a kid I wanted to be Willie Mays, so when celebrity came, it was easy to take. The only time it becomes uncomfortable is when you have some crisis in your family. The press brings the public into it. Normally, by that time, you've already dealt with the trauma, and when the press gets involved, it opens sores again. That's the element I don't like.

Yeah. OJ "dealt" with the trauma all right. But I think he was the one who opened up sores.

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Whatchonameshawty?

Stacey Fucking Dash.

Stacey Dash is 42 years old. I'm just gonna let that marinate for a minute.


Fully marinated on? Cool. All I'll say is that she would get smashed on...repeatedly...over and over...and over.


Milf. Cougar. Whatever you wanna call it, it looks mighty damn good.


(Hat tip:YBF) Read more!

Wednesday WTF

Well, as long as it's your choice. If you like it, I love it.

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Old School Wednesday: Kilgore Hall. Rm 211

Ten years ago I, along with Realist and Waldini, completed my matriculation through Morehouse College. Ten years. TEN YEARS! It's hard for me to put my hands around that figure. It really seems like yesterday that I was chilling in Kilgore Hall, playing my Playstation One, listening to No Limit, and sleeping in on Fridays cause I had no classes. Boy those were the days.

With our ten year reunion coming up, I've become a little nostalgic. Digging through some old pics, I came upon a couple of cool ones. The one below is a pic of my side of the room, senior year. I just thought it would be cool to reminisce.

Click on the pic for a larger version.

1. I used to post my test scores on my cabinet, in order to hype myself up. Not to brag, but I put many 95's, 92's, and 94's up on that there board. Some might say that was a kind of a doucherrific move, but I was the man in college so blow me.

2. OK, so my desk was mad cluttered. There's my iron, cereal, video tapes, and some other stuff I can't make out. And nope, didn't do any work there. My cereal took precedence.

3. Thanks to my roommate, I got the pleasure of hanging TWO West Coast Bad Boys II posters on my wall. That year I was immersed into all kinds of Nawlins hip hop. What you know about "Soldier Rag," P-poppin', U.N.L.V., and "walking it like a dog?" Ya dig?

4. My bed. Where all the magic happened. I'm not gonna say I banged a hundred chicks on that bed...because I didn't. But I got a lot of studying done. Remember all those 95's, 94's, and 92's I got on my tests? Cause that's what was really important. Right? Right?

5. Yes black people read. Next question.

6. It's hard to make out on the small pic, but yep, that's a Burger King crown. Waldini and I wore them to our 21st birthday party, which happened to be the greatest house party ever. I remember the chick at Burger King clowning us when we asked for them. She couldn't comprehend the Power of the Pimpin'.

7. My porn drawer. I had a policy of never letting dudes borrow my tapes. Porn has a habit of not returning to its rightful owner. Imagine that, huh? Freshman year, my boys across the hall ran a porn rental business out of their room. So there you go. Porn inspires entrepreneurship.

8. Still have that tv. As a matter of fact, I'm looking at it right now. Further more, that iron on my desk? I just bought a new one a couple weeks ago. I'd had that iron since '94. In my family, we don't throw away nuffin.

9. I have no idea what's in that box, or why it's there. It's probably the most random thing in my room.

10. My trusty fridge. Filled with milk, juice, water...other stuff.

College. Those were the days.

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Catch A Tiger By His Toe

Gangsta D:

Memphis pretty much threw that game. All Calipari has talked about is how they were gonna make FT's when it counted. Well last night, they didn't. The funny thing is, I was hoping Kansas would make a comeback to make it close, but I still wanted memphis to win. When Chalmers hit that three, I was like "Game Over." I hope Derrick Rose looks good in a Timberwolves jersey:)

Da Realist:

I turned on the game with 30.1 seconds left in regulation. Somebody was fouled and I paused the tv, looked at [Da Wife] and said, "Memphis has made it their battle cry to say that their poor free throw shooting wouldn't stop them from winning. It would be funny if they miss these free throws and end up losing the game".

Dude missed both I think. Kansas missed and fouled Memphis again. He made one of two. When Kansas hit the three to send it to overtime, I turned back to "Forensic Files" because I knew it was over. I turned back in time to see the last few seconds before Kansas won.

Waldini:

Pretty good game, sad to see Memphis choke with 2 mins left in regulation. I just wanted a close game, especially after Sat's historical Final four matchups were crappy.

I'm wondering how many people from last night's game are turning pro. Rose is a given but I'm wondering if Arthur, Rush, and Chalmers from KU are gone and if Douglas-Roberts from MU is gone. Back to Rose, what if Portland was lucky enough to get #1 again. Could you imagine that lineup in 3 yrs...Rose, Oden, Roy...geezus Read more!

Al Davis, Two Black Guys, And Vader Walk Into A Bar...

"Thanks, but no thanks Mr. Davis. I'm gonna see how this Intergalactic Pimp thing rides out."

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Old School Friday - East Coast Randomness

I'm sending some love out to all my duns on the east coast. So today make sure you put a razor under your tongue, roll up a pants leg, and end every sentence with "yo." I kid my east coasters. I kid. Go Brewers!!


Redman - Can't Wait

"I set it off like Boba Fett." Apparently, there is a colorized version of this video for some reason. I'm definitely feeling this one more. I think more videos should be shot in black & white. It just lends a certain atmosphere to the production. Feel me?

Junior Mafia - Playa's Anthem

The funny thing about Junior Mafia's album is, all the good tracks featured Biggie. I guess that's all you need to know about their staying power. After a while, I think Biggie even washed his hands of them. Ouch. Oh well. We'll always have the summer of '95, won't we?

Crooklyn Dodgers '95 - Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers

"So die nigga. Die nigga. You too black, you can't handle, you too strong. Get high." This is probably my favorite Chubb Rock verse. He DESTROYS it. I never heard someone go at Barbara Walters so hard. Anyway, I can't believe I totally forgot about this track, and I have the "Clockers" soundtrack around here somewhere.

LL feat Keith Murray, Prodigy, Fat Joe, & Foxxy Brown - I Shot Ya

"What's the deal?" SML already posted this video when he pinch hit for me last year. I don't care, though. The song is dope, and every performance is on point. Even if a couple may have been ghostwritten. I'm looking at you Joseph and Inga!

Das Efx - Real Hip Hop

So the fellas decide to leave "iggedy" in their briefcase, for the most part, and a nation immediately ignores them. That kind of sucks. As an artist, you're thinking "Damn I'm not some one trick pony. I can do other shit too!" Meanwhile, the public is like "Hmmm...nah I'll pass." Fickle fuckers.

DMX - How's It Goin' Down

"Try to creep me? WHAT?!? Leave that nigga sleepy." Favorite. DMX line. Ever. It's kind of hard to believe that this dude was relevant just 10 years ago. Not only was he relevant, he was a superstar. Now he's...not.

Fu Schnickens - True Fu Schnick

I still don't understand a damn thing Chip-Fu is saying. The song is tight though.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Michael Fobes - Rock Around The Clock

"This kid is gonna go places." Yeah, he's gonna walk off the fucking stage. That's about as far as he's gonna go. By the way, I didn't know Javier Bardiem had a white son in the 80's. Cuckoo.

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Beats

Tempt



Wind



Tournament



Theme



Texas



Street



Lament



2 Guns



Angel



Alton



90

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